It was hard leaving Erick's yesterday morning. The kids were all pouty and so was Grammie. So, I'm holding onto the memories until the next time. At least it was a clear day, no rain like we see so many times on the road.
We stopped for lunch and dinner and I thought I was choosing wisely. Guess that shows what I know. I would have been better off with the hot dog and fries I thought I was avoiding when we went to Ponderosa and I got a salad, chopped steak and a baked potato for lunch. Then I KNEW the calories of the toasted ravioli I was going to get at Fazoli's for a lighter dinner and thought I would be fine for the day. The thing is that Fazoli's no longer has that on their menu and I ended up with spaghetti and meatballs and a breadstick.
Pretty much after we got in the door when we arrived home, I went to log in my food. What I saw was close to the amount of calories I'm allotted for the day but it was in red ... it took me a minute but that meant I was over by that amount. It happened ... and it hasn't even been out of my mouth for a week ... what I swore would never happen again ... AND I THOUGHT I was in check ... are you kidding me? I didn't even finish the @#$%%#@ spaghetti and I left a meatball.too. No dessert ... no trip to the sides bar ... no loaded potato like Gary had ... no candy bar at the rest area ... and I didn't even mention that there was NO SAUSAGE BISCUIT at Mickey D's. I had doubled my calorie allotment for the day.
I got this, I got this ...I'm okay even if Gary did lose 1 1/2#'s but he's a man and their metabolism is different and he weighs more and ... and ... and I'm stuck and I'm tired of it. So, I've got to dig deeper. I got through all this unscathed so far and I'm not an exercise machine like my friends nor am I depriving myself of anything. I always ask myself is it worth it when I see the extra calories that will be added to my diary and I make the choice .... and I've been feeling good about it, but it goes to show I know nothing!!
It's one thing when you purposely gorge yourself. It's another thing when all you eat is sugary, fat laden snacks but I don't. Portions, portions, portions ... I've really been making the effort. Something's gotta give ... I can't go back, I won't go back but I'm stuck and that seems almost as bad ... but it's not going to be as tough as last week ... I can do this. I'm going to get on the scales every day this week. I NEED to see some fluctuation ... I really do or I think I do. I think I'd be okay to see the scale go up a tad and then back down the next day, as long as it was down more than it was up ... would that help? Oh well ... I guess it's just Monday and I'm trying to find my way through it all and just be!