Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I had no problem with cravings or desires until evening and of course it was all in my mind ... AGAIN. We went to Applebee's for dinner and I got their Asian Crunch Salad listed in their "UNDER 550 CALORIE" menu. I had had an Asian Salad there before but this was new and for my taste quite disappointing. It just wasn't very flavorful. My mind was working in the same way when it wants what it wants ... it wasn't satisfied so it wanted something else. Gary offered me some of his steak but ... no, I had to work on the discipline. POPCORN ... POPCORN. Having some 94% fat free popcorn when I got home wouldn't throw me off plan, would it? Ooops, there's still some candy left over from Halloween (that stuff should have been thrown out weeks ago) ... no I've got to get through the first day with some discipline. Weighing ... yes weighing. I've got to weigh which is the most important satisfaction ... satisfying a food desire or satisfying the desire to lose those extra pounds and the snowball effect of losing.
When we got home I had to get the rest of the Christmas decorations out of the storage tubs to finish decorating before we leave for Maryland tomorrow. After I did that I don't know whether it was being too tired or too lazy, I didn't make it into the kitchen. I just fell asleep on the couch and finally made it upstairs to bed without any snacking.
Monday, November 29, 2010
It's all behind me now and I was glad to get on the scales this morning to have a new beginning. Not that it is going to get any easier. We're leaving for Maryland on Wednesday to visit the kids but I will be under control and drink lots of water on the trip. Something else that I've been slacking on.
While I am starting over, I still am happy with my success. I have to use that as a stepping stone to convince myself while it's a long hard road, there is much to benefit from. I'm starting to see a small change and don't want to give that up. It gives me desire to want more and I don't want to lose that confidence to believe in myself.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
When I talked to my son on my birthday he mentioned that they are going back to DisneyWorld in October when they have their Half Marathon. Erick, Kim and our oldest grandson, Brandon are planning on running in it. I told him maybe I should consider it, as well. Could I really run ... I think I could walk but don't know about running? If it could become a reality ... I guess I better start training, huh?
Friday, November 19, 2010
I do feel that I've come quite a distance. I was somewhat frustrated yesterday. I was very conscious of my behavior yesterday and kept fighting all the excuses that could be used to overeat. By our evening meal, I was tried of fighting and decided to let myself go. As I stood in front of the dessert table at the buffet, that little voice in my head .... remember that little voice that seems to torment us sometime .... surely you too have listened to it many times???? Well, that little voice was saying. Look around, is there anything that great or that you can't live without. Is there anything that is there TODAY that is worth the questions you are going to ask yourself tonight when you lie you head on the pillow. I stood there like I was frozen in time and finally answered myself ... no, not TODAY and walked back to our table.
This morning I slept in or at least it felt like it. There's an hour difference in time where we are. I didn't make it to the gym yesterday as we were just getting settled and our schedule was somewhat irractic. We did do a surmountable amount of walking though. However, this morning I being determined to give myself the best year of my life going forward, I hit the gym. 45 minutes on the bike and 10 minutes on the treadmill. That's the first time for today ... I'm not giving up hope that I will go back because the gym is open until 11:00 p.m.
I don't know how often I'll be able to blog on this trip as there is not wifi in the room. I have to go to the lobby and it just depends on our schedule. Did you know that the percentages for success go up tremendously if you give yourself credit for how far you've come. There's something to say for confidence. Hold up your head and move forward.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I have my annual physical tomorrow and I know the doc will probably say something. He's not one of those that only lectures you when you need to lose and doesn't say anything when you do. I'm sure he'll be happy about my weight and hopefully it will reflect in my bloodwork.
After the doctor, we will be on the road. Going to get away for a few days to celebrate my birthday. Like I did before, I plan on hitting the gym everyday while we're there and choose wisely at the buffet. I did it before. I'm getting in the right mindset to do it again.
The big problem that faces me is that I will not be weighing in for the next three to four weeks as we will be traveling every weekend, including Mondays between now and then and I won't be making my TOPS meetings. I will be using my home scales to be accountable and hopefully go back to TOPS with a loss.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I got up this morning and did a stupid thing. I got on the scale and it was up 2#'s. I don't usually weigh on a Saturday because we have rice on Friday and I know that tends to make me hold water but there was something in me that made me think damage had been done and I wanted to see how much ... that's really crazy because I had been doing great all week but you know how the mind works. Maybe it was a good thing after all as I decided I was going to head to the rec center. There was a Zumba class at 9:00. I hoped it wouldn't be full and they told me it wasn't, so I paid my $5 walk in fee. The class was packed. The class had many people my age and while I sweated and felt I had a good workout, I think this must have been a beginner's class because it wasn't as intense. I'm glad I went and the clouds are lifting. I have two parties today and we have our first Thanksgiving dinner to celebrate tomorrow and I am not going to throw in the towel. I can't ... I just can't.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Here it is Friday again and I'm tired. It was a late night last night and from 7:00 a.m. until 9:30 p.m. in heels wore me out -- but my calves look good. Yep, I walked at the mall on my lunch hour like I had planned, doing a little window shopping and people watching as I went along. We had an event to go to last night and it was rush home, pick up Gary and we were off. A new Performing Arts Building in the area is opening in January and they had a "Tuning Of the Hall" last night. Several music jaundras are playing between now and then to help adjust and tweak the sound and acoustics. Our nephew plays in a Billy Joel tribute band and they were fortunate to be the first group to play inside this building prior to opening to the public in January. As the evening went on, they sounded really good.
Yesterday I failed to eat breakfast. Did you hear there's a new study out where they're questioning eating breakfast if you're not hungry. I still think you need it, but no cereal in the cupboard and no time for much else and my usually rush, rush, rush in the morning made me do without. I just had a "Smart Ones" at lunch and 1/2 sandwich and soup for dinner before the show, so I believe my points were on the low side yesterday or would have been if I hadn't got into the nuts when I got home. Nuts are one of those things that I play over in my head as a good nutritious snack full of protein. It gives me the false feeling of security. I need to remember you can get too much of a good thing. But, they're gone now and there won't be any in the house until our next party which is our annual Reunion Committee Christmas party on December 11.
This weekend is packed with activities. That being said I know there will be food temptations but I feel I'm far enough into my program that I am confident that I know how to handle them. I will continue to fill up on water and use portion control, if I feel myself wavering.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Okay trying to get back on schedule here but since I wrote last night, this will be a short post.I think I mentioned I'm not a morning person and I also tend to lose things. Personalities can't be changed but what we do can. It's called discipline and I need some. This morning I made two extra trips upstairs because I had planned to work out on my lunchhour and had my bag with my workout clothes ready but I needed socks. After I rushed upstairs to get them and back down to put them in my bag, I remembered I took my shoes off upstairs and had to retrace my steps back upstairs to get them. Don't shoes and socks always go together ... why two trips? I rushed out the door which is par for the course and got about half way to work and at a stoplight got this strange feeling. I looked over my shoulder into the back seat and guess what WASN'T there. Yep, you guessed it ... my bag with my workout clothes. Well guess what I'm not doing on my lunchhour? REALLY, you think forgetting my clothes will keep me from a little exercise? I will be mall walking ... yep, in heels. At least it will tone my calves. What I'm not doing is overeating. Have a good day everyone.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
There is really nothing different going on in my life to write about but I think it's important to check in at least five times a week ... I would like to check in on all seven days but weekends can some times be challenging.
I came home from work tonight, changed clothes and headed to the gym. I was hoping to exercise at work but my day didn't start on the right foot. I overslept (first time I've done that in years) and rushed out of the house, leaving some important bills that needed to be put in the mail today so I had Gary meet me for lunch and there went my workout time. I had a good workout at the gym tonight though and the machines said that I burned 500 calories. Mmmmm, 500 huh? There's still a bowl of halloween candy on the table in the entryway. Are you kidding me ... I'd rather have a glass of milk with my chili or some crackers in it.
Okay, that it ... oh, maybe not. I'm busy at work with Christmas party prep. We're going to play a family feud game and I need some questions answered to get a consensus. You know where they say "100 people were surveyed". Well I need 100 people. If you're interested email me at the email address in the sidebar. You and 20 of your closest friends :) Thanks.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
1. How often do you go to the grocery store (which one/ones)?
Since my husband retired and started doing all or at least most of the cooking, he also does most of the grocery shopping. I may go with him on a weekend once a month. We usually go to Meijer or Kroger.
2. What is your favorite activity, and why?
I like to be active and get out and do things. I’d have to say being involved with My high school class and reconnecting with classmates. I’ve been in charge since Our 35th reunion in 2002 and the committee has become very close. The committee has several annual events and we continue to try to get together on a monthly basis. We also have a class blog where I send out questions each month for classmates to answer and post those on our class blog. We will start planning our 45th reunion next year to occur in 2012
3. So far, what has been your favorite reaction, when someone notices your weight loss?
That’s tough because I’m just getting to a point where it’s noticeable. I guess it’s compliments which are always good to hear and being told that I’m doing well with my program.
4. Within 5 hours from your house, what is your favorite destination, why, and when did you last go there?
Wow, Ann, you’re making me think way too hard. I love to travel and I’m trying to think of places that are within 5 hours which would be Milwaukee or the Lake Erie area … maybe Put In Bay, Ohio. I do have a favorite Inn in the Cincinnati area that we have been to several times, but I’m going to say just the State of Indiana. When Gary retired we started this adventure of wanting to visit all 92 counties in the state and learning a little history about each of them. We try to stay overnight in a B&B and have stayed in some interesting places and learned a lot about our state. It’ll take us 20 years probably to cover the state but it’ll be fun.
Okay here are the four people I’m tagging and here are my questions for them.
and my beautiful daughter Stephanie
1. What is your favorite holiday and why and how do you celebrate it?
2. Do you relish time alone and what was the last thing you did when you were alone for 24 hours?
3. What is your favorite type of ethic food and when and what was the last time you ate it?
4. Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why?
When I left this blog, my last entry was about getting in touch with all of my emotions not just the bad but also the good. Being able to express myself more openly and find the "JOY". Gary and I went on a wine trail event on Saturday, visiting four wineries where they were also providing samples of food that were made with wine. Don't get ahead of me ... the wine didn't bring out the exuberance in me. When we first started out on our adventure, we were going down this country road and I said "Woo--Hoo, we're gonna, have a great day." I guess I said it too loud, or too shrieky cause Gary said "do you wnat me to have a wreck" ... he thought something was wrong on the road. When I 'splained it to him, he was okay and we talked about being in a good mood, being happy, being blessed that we could do all we do. I may have acted a little silly at times on Saturday, but you know what ... when I did, it put a smile on my face. We also stopped at a Riverboat Casino where we both played the penny slots together and had a ball ... I let myself go and screamed when I thought I was getting close to hitting a bonus spin and again had fun. I only ended up winning fifteen cents but felt like I had won fifteen hundred dollars by the time we got home which was pretty late.
Fast forward or I guess it's really back it up until Sunday. We went to noon mass and Gary asked if I wanted to go to Jockomo's for lunch. I love their spinach salad and we used to travel about 60-90 minutes roundtrip to visit this pizza place. They have now opened a restaurant five minutes from our house. The thing is, as I have written before, I don't like to eat salad the day before I weigh in because it tends to make me hold water. At first, I asked if we could go somewhere else but I stopped myself and said I've tried really hard this week and I'm sure I'm losing, if I do have a gain at TOPS, I'll know it's from water weight and that won't stop me. I had my salad and one slice of pizza and I felt great. We both decided we'd eat light at dinner. The result at my weigh-in last night ???? ... it didn't affect my weigh-in. Maybe it's a salad made with iceberg lettuce that holds water and spinach salad doesn't have the same effect because I lost two pounds. I am now at 30 pounds lost and it feels great. WOO-HOO .... yes, WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!
One thing I forgot to mention was when we went out on Saturday, I put on a pair of black jeans. Like with some jeans that tend to stretch out a little after you first put them on ... well, we did quite a bit of walking and it wasn't too long before they were like the pants in the song "pants on the ground" hanging around my butt cheeks and I was constantly having to pull them up. I'm starting to see results. YEAH-YEAH-YEAH!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
I had to make a stop on the way home to pick up some awards for our staff meeting on Monday and of course it was way out of the way on an opposite side of town. I couldn't believe that it was almost 4:00 when I got home. So much for getting anything done on my afternoon off but it was nice to have a "me" afternoon. I still intended on going to Zumba but thought ... it's going to be harder because of not being able to go last week. I also remember the episode with the light headedness and dizzyness and decided to have some nuts and a banana on my way and made sure I took water. When I got to the rec center, I was the first one there and while talking to the instructor learned that I was in an intermediate class. Why that should make a difference I don't know, but I thought wow, I'm almost keeping up and it's more than a beginner's class. I was just proud of myself for that ... don't know why. I still had some weird sensations and had to stop in the middle of step sometimes ... but don't want to give this up. Something is pushing me to continue Zumba.
Last night while watching "What Not To Wear", there was a scene when the gal that was getting a makeover came into the room dressed beautifully and her friends and family were screaming and clapping. Gary said why do girls scream. I couldn't answer that question, because for some reason I've never done that. I don't tend to get overly excited about anything. Why ... do I also suppress my emotions when I'm happy or excited. I'm told alot to "smile" ... do I need to question getting in touch with my emotions ... will I be happier then? I'm pleased with my life. I'm content with my life. I AM happy, but do I feel really joy. Is joy letting out those emotions. They say when you look good, you feel good. When you let it out do you feel the joy.
I don't know how this post ended up with this but I guess I needed to write about it. Gary and I are going out and do a lot of things today. Things that can be a lot of fun. We'll see if I get in tune with my emotions.
Friday, November 5, 2010
After lunch we celebrated a department member's birthday. I wish we would do this activity like I've heard others do and that would be to have a gathering for all those with birthdays in the month on one certain day of the month, but we take turns hosting and today it was up to me. I stopped and got a colorful plant and put up decorations around my fellow employee's door. The night before I made a chocolate cake from a recipe that I found online. It was actually low cal not using any oil or shortening in the cake and the frosting was made with sugar-free pudding. Since Gary now does 98% of the cooking, I struggled making the cake. It wasn't baking or raising the way it should. I think maybe when turning on the timer, I turned off the oven after it was pre-heated. Gary came to my rescue and finally it was done. It looked okay and the toothpicks came out clean so I assumed it wouldn't be half-baked .... mmm, I've heard that description before. Anyway, I had to give a preamble before I served the cake that this was all an experiment and then when I was the only one that didn't take a piece, people wondered ... but said it was good. That's right ... after all the struggles I went through, I didn't have any cake. I didn't feel deprived or anything, it was just my choice. It seems for the past few months, desserts are something I just pass by. Maybe even without any thought. I'm not tempted or crave them. On one of the blogs I read, Leslie wrote a great post and mentioned something about not being able to handle sugar. I took it as sugar addiction but the more I'm thinking about it ... maybe she wasn't talking about it as addiction but just the way the body processes it. Maybe I avoid desserts because of something subconsciously going on. I have never considered myself a person that binges but maybe there is something going on in my head that tells me that dessert isn't the right fit for me right now. This probably doesn't make any sense but I'd like to know more about this sugar thing and what it does to your body. Things with natural sugar like fruit seem to be okay, it just things like cakes, pies, cookies, donuts ... you know. Okay now I'm really confused. I hope Leslie continues on this topic.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I had my workout clothes again to do a short sprint on the bike and treadmill during my lunch hour but with my mood ... could anything motivate me. Well, something did. It was the comments I received about yesterday's post that I checked out before lunch. Thanks ladies. So even though my heart wasn't in it, I headed downstairs at noon. Funny thing, a lot of the tension I was feeling was gone when I had put in my time. It's becoming a trend. I forgot my lunch again and ended up having to walk for my lunch too. It was a couple of blocks to Subway and I thought that was my best bet.
I was ready to crash when I got home but I was faced with baking a cake and getting a veggie tray together. We're celebrating a birthday in my department today and it's my turn to bring the goodies and to top that off we're also having a company wide chili-cookoff to raise money for our Christmas families. My evening had extra activities in it, but I made the effort to still get to the gym for a mini-session before dinner.
All I can say is I must REALLY want a loss next Monday.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Monday I carted my work-out clothes to work with me because the fire was starting to ignite then but I wondered if working out right before a weigh-in would have any bearing. I've heard muscles can retain water after exercising, so I decided not to chance it.
The company where I work has workout facilities. Do I take advantage of them ... mmm. I did when we first moved to our new building but just like anything else the excitement soon wore off. But are there reasons to take advantage of things around you, that can help you get where you're going. YOU BET! Why do I let these moments pass me by? I'm not looking at big chunks of time. I don't have time for that but with all the little bits of time here and there I'm wasting, I think 20 or 30 minutes just isn't that significant to make it an excuse. I brought my clothes again with me yesterday. I wasn't going to use all my lunch hour, just part of it. I did 10 minutes on the bike and 15 minutes on the treadmill. Was that enough to make any difference? The readout said I did burn some calories.
Was I done ... nope. I had put in some exercise for the day, although a small amount but I had another small block of time after I got home and there was no reason I couldn't go to the community center and workout before dinner. I'm very fortunate that since Gary retired he does most of the cooking, especially during the week. I don't have to rush home to make dinner so there is no reason why I shouldn't put in a little time at the gym in the evening.
It's not that I enjoy working out. I don't hate anything or anybody but exercise is just not one of the loves of my life. Maybe I could say it's one of those necessary evils like cleaning the toilet. Nothing glamorous or exciting about that, but it needs to be done. Anyway, even in short segments, it seems to help and I can push myself through those small blocks of time and not give up.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I need to get my head back into the game instead of coasting along. There will be enough time for that when I'm at my journey's destination and then again .... I'm not so sure about that!
I've evidently learned some things because I didn't totally cave when I could have the last two weeks. I also made better choices than in my past attempts but that in no way means that I can do this without trying. I need to focus in on my day and my week. Set some parameters to help me succeed. Mainly, get back to the basics.
I stayed busy last week and was pretty active with the grandkids on our trip to Cincinnati. I went to the workout room once at the hotel for ten minutes but my heart (or head) wasn't in it and I didn't even break a sweat. I feel that I do need a good workout at least twice a week ... probably even more than that, but that should be the minimum. I really do think that proper eating is #1 but I'm pleased with the exercise that is toning and shaping my body. I finally am seeing a difference in my clothes and there are a couple of items I may be retiring from my closet.
So, all is good ... but it could be better!