Tuesday, October 30, 2012

BLUNTLY HONEST

I got up yesterday and looked at the "Preview of Coming Attractions" on my scale.  Umph ... not exactly what I wanted to see, especially after feeling pretty good about my slacks fitting on Sunday and actually having a few other things that "felt" looser this week, as well.  The number I glared at was acceptable, I guess.  It WAS progress from the non-movement the week before.  I concentrated on drinking more water while at the office to help the cause and soon was off to my TOPS meeting and my weekly weigh-in.

I got on the scale but didn't hear that metal piece clunk to the bottom, it was just sitting there suspended in mid-air and our Weight Recorder said "how about a turtle"?  (Translation of Turtle in TOPS language is that you stayed the same weight.)  I cried out "NO", I don't want a turtle, I want a loss!  I was a little less than happy, as I stepped off the scale but I tried to stay positive and just told myself to move forward, and not to replay everything over in my head.

But ... the rumblings continued.  Boy, this has been a lousy month for losing -- I think I lost a whole big whopping pound this month, with even having one more opportunity being there were FIVE Mondays in October.  I finally got somewhat in a gym habit and what did it get me -- a stall.  Okay, I did have an off day but I made sure I worked that off and came in that day on target.  What other thoughts took their place on stage.

We're leaaving for vacation on Friday for a week.  We're staying at a Casino where we'll be getting compted for room and food which means lots of buffets and free drinks.  Was I up for it ... I'm starting to wonder.  I really needed a good loss to carry me into that challenge, but now .... ???

I still have the resolve to keep on the way I have been, but the promise of losing is getting overshadowed.  I know I've been in this position before but it's happening just way too much lately.  I'm fighting it with all I've got to not tell myself just to start over when we get back from our trip.

I have so many more things rolling around in my head but I don't have time to put them to paper.  

1 comment:

NAN said...

It has to be really hard when you aren't at home. Maybe just concentrate more on maintaining and be stricter when you are home. The next 2 months are **** for dieters! My son just requested a pumpkin pie and I baked him one from scratch and am going to be whipping up some cream soon. Now you know I will have to have a sliver....