PONDERING

I was up early for a Saturday.  There was a special area meeting for TOPS chapters yesterday morning and since it was being held only about ten minutes from my house, I thought I would attend.  Who knows I thought I might get inspired.  I knew I had to stop at the bank on the way, so I left the house with enough time to let me do that.  When I got to the bank, I thought it was strange that there were no cars in the parking lot.  I found out that not all the branches are open on Saturday.  That meant I'd have to leave the meeting early to make it to the other bank before noon when it closed.  I got to the meeting and no one from my chapter was there.  I was the lone representative and most of the tables were full of groups.  I sat with a group from another chapter and they were busy chatting among themselves.  I felt out of place and started getting impatient when the meeting didn't start on time, mainly because I knew my time was limited.  When it did start and roll was being taken, the chapters were to stand and make themselves heard.  When my chapter was called, I stood and said "just me".  I got a laugh but it was stll awkward.  Awards were given to the various chapters for weight loss, attendance, exercise challenge, etc., and I was worried that our chapter wouldn't be called before I had to leave because it was going very slow.  Not long after that thought entered my head, we were called and I'm able to at least take our certificates and ribbons back to our chapter.  I find that I don't do well when I'm put in a position by myself, I do better with a partner or a group.  It is a support thing.  I'm happy that I have a group of friends on MFP and Blogger where I feel comfortable writing about my struggles and victories.

I got to the bank and came home to pick up Gary to run some other errands and have lunch.  I need to get it out of my head that when having a sandwich at lunch that it needs to be accompanied by something else.  Granted, I have substituted more nutritious things for the fries I used to eat, but I'm still adding calories when I could get by with just a sandwich.  The extra calories in the chili at lunch and soup at dinner made me go over my calories yesterday.  I could have exercised those 400 off but it was just one of those days when it didn't happen.

Other things didn't happen either.  I needed to take advantage and get things done around the house but felt I just sat around thinking about what to do and not getting it done.  I did get a spurt of energy but it was 8:00 by then.  I did get through a ton of paperwork while I was sitting though, so I guess it wasn't a complete lost cause.  We tend to drown in paper.  Receipts, copies of paid bills, advertisements, magazines, flyers, correspondence, coupons ... I'm ready for a paperless system.  Do I really need to keep the receipt copies of bills after I pay them?  At times all the clutter frustrates me and that's a emotion that I look to release.  The obvious release is to clear the clutter away but sometimes I clear the refrigerator of snacky food instead but thankfully not yesterday.  I'm more in control and I keep fight to keep it that way.