I thought I'd be over this by now but when I got on the scales for my Holiday Challenge weigh-in on MFP this morning, I found that just wasn't the case. I expected to see a loss because while I accepted my gain on Monday, I didn't feel that it was a true reading and while thinking maybe the entire three pounds wouldn't be gone, I'd certainly be lower than Monday. Wrong, wrong, wrong!!! So, how do I feel? Pretty deflated. I feel like the kid that's always picked last, who wants to play but just doesn't have the natural talent to be very good or the student who is always in the lower rankings of the class. I'm not going to quit playing or quit trying to do better, but it's pretty hard right now.
Last night was a fun evening with my daughter. We attended what is called Wine and Canvas. It's a 3-hour painting session where you're led step by step from an instructor. I've mentioned it here before when I've went with my husband. This was the third time for me and at each session, there are people attending for the first time with no painting experience. It's amazing what you can accomplish. I'm not very good but at the end of the evening your piece actually is recognizable of what you've set out to paint. At times I got frustrated .... maybe because I came in frustrated but I kept trying, encouragement from Stephanie helped too. Anyway, if you keep at it you do accomplish something ... maybe not exactly what you want but something more than you initially expected. I guess that's how I'm feeling about my weight. Each time I've gone to Wine and Canvas, I think I'll get better at it, but it's still hard even when trying to follow step by step of what the instructor is telling us. My strokes don't always turn out the way I envision in my head.
As I was thinking about what I would be writing in my blog post, as I walked away the scale, I thought it would just be a line that said something about getting on the scale, not liking what I saw and there wouldn't be a post today. I know, however, that one of the best things I can do when I feel like this is to write ... to get the emotions out, to come to terms with my frustration and to come up with ideas that will reverse my way of thinking. I'm starting out fresh today with a clean slate with resolve to stick to the plan, do what I know will help me get back in the groove and see results when I weigh-in on Monday. I can do this ... I want to do this ... I will do this!!!