I wondered how yesterday was going to play out. I was only scheduled to work until noon yesterday and then be able to start my much needed weekend. I went into work knowing that might not happen because of a late phone call the night before. My boss called me at home on Thursday night and said "I hope you don't have any plans tomorrow". That really didn't surprise me because I knew with him leaving for three weeks on Tuesday there was last minute things to tie up and I was fine with helping out because we DIDN'T have any set plans. His next statement, however, left me speechless. He said I'm cancelling my trip and we have a lot to get done tomorrow. This was something that he had been planning for close to a year and this trip with his wife and friends was something, after a turbulant year, he deserved and needed. I knew that he hadn't been feeling well which probably explained alot that had happened last week. He said two doctors wouldn't release him to fly and he was scheduled for sinus surgery next week. So no matter who we are, we are faced with things that throw us for a curve and can derail us.
I think maybe I learned from my day on Thursday that no matter what you tell yourself ... you're still human and you have emotions and you shouldn't deny them or fight them. I think if I didn't handle my "bad" day the way I did on Thursday, letting myself go a little, I would have taken that bad day and turned it into several bad days. You hear about people being born in the wrong decade, century, etc. I think I would have made a good caveman because I tend to dwell in a dark place for too long. My new rule is when things aren't always roses and lollipops that I give myself a certain amount of time maybe an hour or two (probably no longer than that) to get out the emotions whether it be feeling sorry for myself, blame whomever, scream that life isn't fair, cry my eyes out, stomp my feet, have a hot dog or whatever I need to do but it has to be done, affecting me only, not calling in troops of others to help me confirm whatever negative things I'm thinking ... BUT when that time is up it's back to the straight and narrow. You've let your emotions have their way, and now it's time for your determination and resolve to have their day in the sun which hopefully continues for more days to come. This is only an experiment. I felt pretty good yesterday and it was a good day with lots of positive reinforcements ... we'll see how well it works the next time. If it doesn't work then, it'll be time for another new plan.