Monday, October 15, 2012


I got on the scale this morning like I do every Monday morning and was pleased with what I saw. You'll remember back to Thursday when the scale was up and I was trying to convince myself that it didn't mean a thing. I was muddling through a lot, trying to get out of my funk and back on track. But, I still was thinking way too much, analyzing too much and questioning whether I was doing enough. It was things like I was behind the eight ball and needed to lose six pounds just to get even and I knew that wasn't going to happen. Also being faced with three more trips that I knew of and the upcoming holidays. Whatever happened to a day at a time and my vow of not making long-range goals where I'd start calculating how much I needed to lose each week. All I can say now is that panic must have set in and I was at a point of not knowing which way to turn. Well, I found out it wasn't about turning, it was about moving forward and it really didn't matter how fast. I just had to continue trying until I was back in the groove and got my confidence back. I had to give myself time, be patient and believe that I was going to lose consistently again. It's always easier looking back on the tough times after you've made your way through them than it is going through it but I need to remember this the next time and that's why I'm writing it down. When I've hit a rough spot, I tend to go back and reread my entries which helps tremendously.

 I have a few blogging friends who read my posts and they also were instrumental in helping me believe in myself. They were there to hand me the pieces as I was trying to put things back together and I am so thankful for that. I'm in a good place right now and I know when it gets tough the next time, it should be a little easier to rebound.

Yesterday was a day of rest. There were plenty of things to take care of, including a mounds of paper to sort through but the weather outside and the forecast from the weatherman kind of set the mood. It was dreary and rainy in the morning and I heard on TV, that once the rain headed out, it was to turn cooler. It was very cloudy and overcast and I could hear the wind really gusting. I watched out the window at the leaves falling like rain. I assumed the weatherman was right, it looked like a early winter day. Well, I guess you can't believe everything you hear because when I finally got out of the house and went to Mass in the evening the temp on my car said it was 70. An opportunity for a nice fall walk had passed me by.

MFP has really been a Godsend. I have been diligent about tracking my food and I know that has helped tremendously, but the other thing is the random messages it generates.  It shows what the handful of friends that I've found are doing in completing their food journal and tracking their exercise, in addition to all the little things the individual writes. Yesterday though I was paying particular attention to their activity and it finally kicked in that I needed to do something even if I wasn't going out in the cold (which as I mentioned turned out to be a myth). I knew I had some exercise videos around and when the pathetic Colts game was over, I thought I could do that. The task at hand though was to find them. I hadn't done that type of exercise in ages. There they were in the first place I looked. It dates me because what I was searching for was Richard Simmons Sweating tapes which needed a VCR to play. Our son gave us his old VCR years ago and I asked Gary if we still had it. Yep, it was there in the console ... now to figure out how it worked. Before too long, the Sweating to Disco Music was on. I didn't remember it, had I used it at all? The 70's and Disco were a wild time and it was wild trying to keep up, but as long as I was moving AND sweating, I knew it was doing it's thing, but maybe I should have pulled out the Broadway tunes instead ... no, this is fine and the steps will come back to me if I continue to use it.

So, yesterday ... was it unproductive? It's all in the way you look at it.

1 comment:

Bernice said...

Well I'm so glad you are feeling more confindent. You are doing so good and we need to stop letting that dumb scale define how it makes us feel about ourselves! I know right?? How?? We will get there and we are going to be experts by the time we do! Haha!! Hey maybe we can write a book together?? I know that together this time we will prevail. We are going to so this! I finally feel like its my time. And I think you feel that way too! We have both done so much more this time and we are staying focused on our ultimate goals. Be healthy, happy and the beat grama's ever!! Looks line we both had a great weekend with the kids! Yay!! Isn't it so awesome to be able to enjoy time outside again?