Wednesday, August 8, 2012


There once was a young girl who was very shy and lacked a lot of self confidence. She attended a small high school and went there with some of her grade school classmates. Two of which she counted as her friends. I guess as what is normal in any high school, there were cliques. She longed to be popular and outgoing but thought it was futile to seek it out. She attended some high school games and activities with her two friends. Those had to be fun times for her but while at school there was little social interaction for her. When she was a sophomore, her English class was studying prose and poetry and the nun announced an assignment of putting a work of prose to music. You could team up with other classmates and perform your piece in a future class. She knew no one in the class well enough to go up and ask to be in their duo, trio or group and of course no one asked her to join them. The idea of getting out of the assignment by being sick the day of the performance wouldn't work because the students didn't know the exact day they would be front and center because of the class size. There was nothing to be done but to figure out what she was going to do alone. I'm sure most of the prose was synced up with songs of the era, maybe music of the Beatles, Stones, Jerry and the Pacemakers? I wonder why she picked her background music to be "They Call the Wind Mariah". Well, she got up in front of class on her assigned day and her voice was cracking at the start but she finished. After class she remembers one boy coming up to her and commenting positively with good job or something along those lines. That meant a lot to her. When she graduated nothing had changed much in four years and she still felt pretty much alone.

One of the stanzas in the song goes like this:

Way out here they've got a name for rain, wind and fire only but when you're lost and all alone there ain't no name for lonely.

Sorry ... just having one of those days. More high school drama has got me down. In heading the reunion committee (which I'm still truly amazed that I'm doing this) and following the last reunion that was held in June, I have resurrected the class Facebook page. I wanted to keep it active, so I thought I'd put something out there every week. This week I posted a yearbook picture from gym class and asked for memories. What I got from a couple of guys was very vivid descriptions of abuse. I'm done with it all. I'm tired of all the negativity and my vision of having our class become close and connected. I feel so bad about bringing back such horrible memories. Which in turn have turned my memories sour. The knight in shining armor mentioned in the story above won't even give me the courtesy of answering emails when I send them out about events and those times of loneliness in high school are now intertwined with alienation I'm feeling now. What does all of this have to do with diet, exercise and losing weight. It's all about remaining positive and that's giving me trouble right now.


I'm My Favorite said...

If it were me I would pass on the committee to someone else. I went through this with my Zumba group. I couldn't figure out why I was getting so upset about feeling left out when the people leaving me out weren't worth my friendship in the first place. I say surround yourself with positive people and don't think twice about cutting the weeds.

NAN said...

Hmm interesting. I have been to a couple of HS reunions- we only have one every 5 years- but since I left there I have hardly given high school a though. It was the same way with my husband and 2 older kids- we moved on. I have a feeling you just want to belong and be part of the group. It sounds like you are well respected with your TOPS friends. In fact, you inspired me to seek out a group here but there isn't one close that I could find. I am going to keep looking though! I occasionally see a photo in the newspaper and all those pictured don't look like they need to lose a pound though heehee. I logged all my food 3 days ago and then stopped so today I am turning over a new leaf- still not ready to totally quit carbs for awhile but almost. I am going to track. I also admire you for being able to eat out; I just can't do it and stay on program and I also hate paying for food I can prepare better at home. I took the grands out Tuesday to the park and then firehouse subs (nothing special at all) and it cost me $24! I didn't get a drink either. I should have bought the fixings and made better subs here at home and had leftovers for today when they are coming again.