Monday, August 6, 2012

IN A FUNK

As I mentioned, I felt somewhat better yesterday but still not quite myself.  I slept in until 9:00 and tried to get my blog up before we left for an reunion committee outing.  Gary informed me we needed to leave at 10:15 which really rushed me.  I was out the door on time but forgot my sunglasses, some small plates and who knows what else.  I wanted to stop at the store to get some veggies that I could have as snacks on the boat but did I dare say anything as Gary seemed to be on a mission to get going.  I told him we're always the first ones there and his reply was "GOOD".  He said we needed to stop for gas and that was my cue to ask if we could make a quick trip to the grocery too.  I got a small veggie tray and another one with cheese and fruit.  I wanted to avoid the chips, cookies, and other tempting goodies and this would help.  We stopped at Subway on the way to the lake and I only ate half of my sandwich, still not being on top of things.

We got to the lake 10 minutes early and of course the first ones and was told everyone else was running late.  One couple (those bringing chips and dip) wasn't going to be able to make it.  It started to rain.  We're having a drought but of course it would rain when we have something planned.  It didn't last long and when everyone was there we made arrangements to get everything on the boat.  My fruit and veggies trays were a big hit and Gary commented to that account.  We went out to a cove and It was just like high school ... all the girls got in the water and the guys stayed in the boat.  Then I started feeling bad again.  It wasn't so much physically but I just felt out of it, like I didn't fit in.  The conversation wasn't to my liking.  Complaints and badmouthing everybody from daughter-in-laws to spouses of committee members.  Geez, it WAS like high school.  I was really in a mood now and when we took a break and got back on the boat, that's where I stayed when everyone got back in the water.

It turned out to be a beautiful day weather wise and even though I did put on sunblock, I ended up with my back and shoulders burned.  Dave grilled some hamburgers when we brought the boat back and I put mostly salad on my plate with just a large spoonful of some of the other sides people brought.  I felt good that I was in control of my eating.

I was still feeling the effects of my weirdness when I went to bed last night and started to doze off when I guess I  started to make my not quite but sorta like snoring noises.  Gary was getting up and I broke down saying I felt so alone and for him to please stay.  We talked about the "girl talk" and he tried to talk me out of my funk.  I still feel like I'm going through withdrawals of some sort both physically and emotionally.  It's not making any sense but tomorrow is a brand new day.

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