What gives?

I started off yesterday's blog with the post that I slept an hour later than on workdays. Well, today it was a couple of hours later than normal and it wasn't worth it. By the time I got moving and had breakfast, it seemed that the morning was half gone AND wasted. I've got to get up when I wake up the FIRST time, if it's at a decent hour. Maybe I'll be dragging at first but I'll eventually get going and feel better that I'm getting something accomplished. As I write this, I know it easier said than done but next weekend, I'll give it a try.

Yesterday there were many mixed emotions. The first thing I did was get on the scale. No movement. Were they stuck? I was positive I’d see progress this morning. I instinctly picked up a glass bowl of apples off the table and got back on the scale. Up 4#, nope they’re working I thought, as I jumped off the scale because I didn’t want to see the numbers go up under any circumstances. I still was curious and got back on a third time and saw almost a full pound loss. Did the scale have a memory chip that when my familiar feet hit, it just spit out the information in the memory. What gives, what can I believe? Well, I was going to believe in that the third time’s the charm weigh-in that morning and hope it set my tone for the day.

I planned to go to a TOPS area meeting that was being held on the southside of Indianapolis. Several members of my chapter were going to be there and I was interested in hearing the guest speaker, the TOPS President. When I left for the meeting around 8:30, Gary asked what time I’d be home. I told him that the meeting should be over around 11:00, as that was normally the timeframe. The meeting sometimes tend to be a little boring as chapter after chapter had members come up to get their awards and have their weight loss announced. It was part of the program that I hadn’t been included in for many, many years and usually those in my own chapter never had the numbers the other losers had. Like I said sometimes it made for a long boring meeting.

The theme for the meeting was “Christmas in July” but I wasn’t there for a party, I was mainly there to support my chapter and to hear Barbara Cady. As she started speaking, I could see that she was using sailing as an analogy. How ironic is that with Gary’s sailing adventure earlier this summer which was at the same time I started on my own voyage starting with the mini-seminar that I hosted. I remember one quote that Barbara used … “the ship isn’t going anywhere unless you untie the rope”. I had untied my rope and let go of the fear of failing to be able to get to that far away port that had so much to offer. Her presentation was very inspiring and while my fire was burning brightly, it’s always good to add what it needs to keep it burning.

I was finally headed to my car at 1:30 and that’s when I was hit with the emotion of guilt. I had planned to work on the house today and get all the vacation laundry out of the living room. But the day was about gone (not really, but it was in my mind). Instead of doing something when I got home, I just sat on the couch and fretted feeling even worse. Boy is that familiar but it didn’t have anything to do with eating this time. We were going to a community concert at Greenwood’s amphitheater tonight and I felt the day was shot.