Another Monday rolled around and this one I had looked forward to. I took a personal day to spend the last day of Jacob and Gracie's summer vacation with them. We had planned on going to the zoo and it looked like the weather was going to cooperate. A little different from the oppressive heat we had last week. Unfortunately Jacob had a stomach bug and we were playing things by ear hour to hour and eventually decided to scrap our plans. We still had a nice day together and it felt good to nurture and have it so obviously shown that you're needed.
It was time for me to leave for my TOPS meeting and it felt strange to not know what I was going to face at the scales. I was sure it was going to be a loss but how much? I even had the fear that it would be TOO much. No really, I had been satisfied with my average of 1 1/2# the last few weeks. I thought if I had a big loss, it might prevent me from losing next week and what a gain would do to my ego and my future. Here I didn't even know what tonight was going to bring and I was worrying about next week's weigh-in. Got to stifle that way of thinking.
Vera always sets the scale where you were the previous week. So, when I got on the scale -- our group uses one of those old big upright doctor scales with the weights -- it sat on the bottom which meant a loss. The next question was how much? As Vera moved the bar to my left one pound, the weight still sat there, okay two pounds with no movement, three pounds and she jiggled the main weight to make sure it was in its slot for a true reading -- nothing. Four pounds and my fear about losing too much was starting to be a reality. Five pounds and we were both wondering what the ... At six pounds ...oh she says, I started you ten pounds higher than you were last week. I hadn't noticed it when I initially got on the scale. I stepped down and we started over. My loss for the week was 1 3/4#. Acceptable but yet a little disappointing after thinking I finally was seeing numbers other people had achieved that I had been following on blogs and weight loss shows.
It was our monthly awards program and because I was on vacation last month on awards night, I received a charm for being the best loser in June and also a charm for my ten pound loss. I also received a buck for being runner-up in the weekly category. It was nice to be acknowledged but I've never thought myself to be a competitive person. I've always thought, to have that trait you had to be good at something. I've never been good in sports, music or even board games. However, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy any of those. I have a good time with the involvement and it really doesn't matter if I win or lose, as long as I get to play. Well I'm finally in this weight game and playing again, instead of sitting on the sidelines. A big question now that I am getting good at this and receiving recognition, will I start to be a little bit more competitive? Or the even bigger question ... am I really getting good at this?