Sunday, August 29, 2010

Crashed and Burned

The weekend started up so well, with only a couple of constructive criticizing remarks by my boss before I actually started it (maybe I should have not said anything in an earlier post about this kind of character building). I held firm on my choices at the festival we attended on Friday and I was pretty much right on up until dinner on Saturday. We had Jacob and Gracie on Saturday night and it seems their favorite place for dinner when staying with us is Cracker Barrel. I felt good about ordering a grilled chicken salad but then sucuumbed to the biscuits. At this point, I don't know if I had 1 1/2 or 2. Neither of the kids finished their meal and I did something I've never done before, I ate off both of their plates ... only a couple of bites, but with dumplings and mac n cheese, it wasn't the thing to do. We took the kids to play miniature golf and we had a fun evening and I guess it was a little bit of exercise bending over and picking up my golf ball for 18 holes.

But this morning, I kept remembering those biscuits and feeling like I was completely out of control. It was haunting me. My indiscretions were there in the back of my mind wondering what triggered this. I had a great weekend. I'm so blessed to be able to live the life I'm living. To be able to travel and have fun-filled weekends that don't need to be centered around food. After Stephanie and Jim picked up the kids, Gary left for a meeting and I had all these plans to clean house and get caught up on all the masses of paper we always seem to be drowining in. But I couldn't be motivated in doing anything. I held off the gremlins suggesting that a snack would get me moving but I was still justs sitting doing nothing but watching "American Pickers" that was on TV. Why was it so hard just to turn off the "idiot box" and clean the bathroom. I was given some alone time that I could get so much done and what was I doing ... wasting it. I felt like one of those characters from an old TV show, sitting on the couch, watching TV, downing bons bons. Well, it wasn't bon bons, as I became weaker from earlier in the day and got into some cashews and a fudgcicle. I really was trying but not hard enough.

When Gary came home, we went to dinner and again had no power over the bread and olive oil. I did bring home half of my dinner, but it was because I had spoiled my appetite with too much bread.

I know tomorrow will be a diaster for my weigh-in but I got to just get over it, accept that it'll put me a little behind and move on. They say it's good to bear your soul and admit it when you've done something wrong. I've got to convince myself that one bad day doesn't mean I'm done. It's not a stopping point to get off but just a connecting place to refuel and continue. Right now that seems to be easier said than done but I'll sleep on it tonight and ready to get back into the groove tomorrow.

3 comments:

Karyn said...

Hey friend!

You are SO right...one bad day (or even more) doesn't mean you're done!

That's the beauty of the sun coming up every morning. We get a brand, new opportunity for a fresh start!

I pray that you won't spend one more minute dwelling on that stinkin' bread! Leave it in the rearview mirror and make today a great one!!

I'm My Favorite said...

Two Cracker Barrel biscuits are 6 weight watcher points. Had you already used up all of your extra weekly points and your exercise points? If you still had points left to cover the six points for the biscuits then there was no harm done. There was no reason to feel the stress or guilt you described. The weight watcher plan is built so that you can enjoy your favorite foods in moderation. That’s what the flex points are for. And if you had already used your weekly and exercise points you could have gotten those extra six points off with an extra round of exercise – no harm done.

Do you know why you ate off the kids plates? Did you feel like you had already messed up by eating the biscuits? If you drop an egg do you say well I’ve messed up that egg I might as well drop all the other ones on the ground (I love that analogy). Also, I see that the grilled chicken salad is 13.5 points and I’m assuming that’s without salad dressing. It looks like an order of chicken ‘n’ dumplings is 9 points. I wouldn’t have guessed the chicken ‘n’ dumplings would have been the better choice between the two.

And I’ve heard you talk negatively about these cashews before on your blog – get them out of your house. If they are too tempting for you right now (especially sitting out in a high traffic area) just throw them away until you’re confident you can resist them.

If I had to guess, I bet that you still had points available to make up for those biscuits and if you did you will see a loss tonight. But don’t let that confuse you. Take a hard look at you menu this week – at how you used your flex points about how many extra points you earned from exercise and figure out where your loss or gain came from. Build from it. Learn how your body works.

For me personally, I use my extra weekly points on the weekend and my weigh in day is Friday. I know that I will see about a two pound gain on Monday (like clock work it was there this morning) but it was because I had used all my flex points the last two days. Now I know I will stick to my daily point limit the rest of the week and I will earn 24 extra exercise points when I go to Zumba three times this week and that the scale will start going back down by Wednesday morning and I will see a loss on Friday.

You can do this. It’s a journey. You’re in control!

mensa said...

Karyn, I know I have control over bread for awhile. Thanks for your comments.

Stephanie, You were right I would have been okay with the biscuits. It's what followed that got me in trouble.