Should I even think about making another attempt at blogging? Guess if you continue that means you didn't fail. So, why not. My head is in a better place now, so now may be a good time ... a new beginning, so to say.
There is good and bad in everything, it's just the way you look at it. I am moved to say that 2011 was a bad year, but how can I. A lot of fun and exciting things happened in 2011. Maybe since I'm writing on this blog, I am focused on my weight goals and the success there wasn't so hot. In fact, it was pretty dismal but why focus on the negative ... so I won't.
I normally start out the new year on fire. I feel like I've been given a new lease on life, the slate has been wiped clean and I'm excited about the future. I've had new year streaks that have gone on for weeks without a gain. This year is a bit different. I didn't even really have my first weigh in of the year until mid-January after returning from a vacation which may not be an ideal time to see the numbers you want to see on the scale. But, there has to be a starting point. My second weigh-in of the year showed success of three pounds. Looking back though, I didn't have the well-rounded meals I should have had. I didn't proportion my calories consumption evenly and that may have backfired on me last week when my mind thought I was being a little too restrictive.
While watching my diet most of the week, I did have a few indiscretions, i.e., fries, hot dogs and chocolate which all could be worked into my point allotment probably if there had been one of those every other days but I failed to do the math. That's right I didn't track it on paper, I tracked it in my head which does fuzzy math when it gets the chance. I now realize why I gained a pound even though I felt I walked a marathon on Friday.
I felt pretty defeated that I couldn't even put two weeks in a row at my TOPS meeting last night. I want success but it comes with a price. Am I willing to pay the toll? Am I willing to do what it takes to walk in my weekly weigh-in feeling confident and proud of what I accomplished during the week. It seems like I've had the tendency to say "it's too hard" or "why even bother, just be satisfied with who you are" the last few months.
For right now I'm trying. I've gone back and read some of the entries to this blog when I was determined, motivated and doing well and thought ... I did it then, why is now any different. I making small strides today by knowing how many points I've consumed. I've told Gary that I wanted to go to the gym tonight and I written a couple of my TOPS members of my intentions going forward. I need to be accountable.
Should I count this as Day One or Day 11,001? Whatever it is, I'm moving forward.