Something I Needed to See

Okay ... no interest in Walktober. I just thought I'd throw it out there. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with doing all the stats myself, so I thought using a website would be easier if anyone thought it to be helpful. No harm, no foul.

Yesterday, I thought about adding my weight stats to my page. I was hesitant about it because compared to others, 55 pounds to lose isn't that much (although it is for me). I thought that I might be rejected and become an outsider and no one would be interested in following me. I have issues with this I'm trying to work out. The fear of being left behind. Maybe it's because when I was looking for blogs to read, I looked for people that are in a similar corner as I. You know, around the same age, needing to lose the same amount, starting around the same time. However, I found some of the sites I'm reading have none of those criteria and I found those with less in common help me the most ... we're just people fighting the same fight.

I started blogging several years ago off and on but it was for my eyes only. It just gave me a recap of the day, my emotional state, what I ate and anything else I felt like jotting down ... sort of like what everyone is doing but no one knew about it except for me. At the time I wasn't doing any reading of other blogs. Then my daughter started her blog in June (www.immyfavorite.blogspot.com) and I picked up mine again on a regular basis. I really didn't know how things worked back then. I was just updating my blog daily to keep me accountable. One day I commented on hers and this message from Mensa showed up. At first I had no idea who Mensa was until I realized it was what I had written. When I set up the page, I must have put a combination of letters together for a username. That comment introduced me to the blogging world and that world to me. The next day I saw I had two followers (my daughter and daughter-in-law). At first I wasn't sure if I wanted anyone reading what I wrote to be critiqued. Then I had a major all out battle with the fluctuation of the scale, which was defeating me, and Stephanie and Kim made some comments that helped change my attitude. Since then I found out how great and helpful and supporting blogging can be.

Wow, guess I got off the track there ... I was talking about posting my stats. Anyway, I decided to go ahead and put up my numbers. It was something I needed to see. It was for me to see what progress I was making. Like I said, I'm still new to all of this and playing with putting stuff on the blog still baffles me some. I listed my highest weight which was when I came back from a Disney vacation with the family in November of last year. Then, I started listing my weekly weights starting January 2010. I hit the save button and it showed it at the top of my daily postings. That's not what I wanted. I started over and thought that took up way too much space, maybe I would just list my monthly weight .... boy I'm glad I did that. It didn't show all the ups and downs that seem to defeat me. I tend to analyze things into the ground and that's not good. Even when I gave up in April and May, I could easily see now that could be made up with one good month. So, what I've found is that your blog is your blog. You need to do what you need to do to make it work for you. Feedback is wonderful, and I'm thankful that people know about this site and make comments because it's what I need. I need to see that others care to make me care more about myself. Enough to push on and reach that goal that has been so illusive in the past. I can do this. I know I can. I put a new look to my blog and I like that too.