Something I Needed to See

Okay ... no interest in Walktober. I just thought I'd throw it out there. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with doing all the stats myself, so I thought using a website would be easier if anyone thought it to be helpful. No harm, no foul.

Yesterday, I thought about adding my weight stats to my page. I was hesitant about it because compared to others, 55 pounds to lose isn't that much (although it is for me). I thought that I might be rejected and become an outsider and no one would be interested in following me. I have issues with this I'm trying to work out. The fear of being left behind. Maybe it's because when I was looking for blogs to read, I looked for people that are in a similar corner as I. You know, around the same age, needing to lose the same amount, starting around the same time. However, I found some of the sites I'm reading have none of those criteria and I found those with less in common help me the most ... we're just people fighting the same fight.

I started blogging several years ago off and on but it was for my eyes only. It just gave me a recap of the day, my emotional state, what I ate and anything else I felt like jotting down ... sort of like what everyone is doing but no one knew about it except for me. At the time I wasn't doing any reading of other blogs. Then my daughter started her blog in June (www.immyfavorite.blogspot.com) and I picked up mine again on a regular basis. I really didn't know how things worked back then. I was just updating my blog daily to keep me accountable. One day I commented on hers and this message from Mensa showed up. At first I had no idea who Mensa was until I realized it was what I had written. When I set up the page, I must have put a combination of letters together for a username. That comment introduced me to the blogging world and that world to me. The next day I saw I had two followers (my daughter and daughter-in-law). At first I wasn't sure if I wanted anyone reading what I wrote to be critiqued. Then I had a major all out battle with the fluctuation of the scale, which was defeating me, and Stephanie and Kim made some comments that helped change my attitude. Since then I found out how great and helpful and supporting blogging can be.

Wow, guess I got off the track there ... I was talking about posting my stats. Anyway, I decided to go ahead and put up my numbers. It was something I needed to see. It was for me to see what progress I was making. Like I said, I'm still new to all of this and playing with putting stuff on the blog still baffles me some. I listed my highest weight which was when I came back from a Disney vacation with the family in November of last year. Then, I started listing my weekly weights starting January 2010. I hit the save button and it showed it at the top of my daily postings. That's not what I wanted. I started over and thought that took up way too much space, maybe I would just list my monthly weight .... boy I'm glad I did that. It didn't show all the ups and downs that seem to defeat me. I tend to analyze things into the ground and that's not good. Even when I gave up in April and May, I could easily see now that could be made up with one good month. So, what I've found is that your blog is your blog. You need to do what you need to do to make it work for you. Feedback is wonderful, and I'm thankful that people know about this site and make comments because it's what I need. I need to see that others care to make me care more about myself. Enough to push on and reach that goal that has been so illusive in the past. I can do this. I know I can. I put a new look to my blog and I like that too.

Challenge for October

Last night was Zumba. Because of being out of town last week, it had been two weeks since my last class so I knew if would be tough. I love the music, I love the beat, I love the steps ... what I don't love is any of the consistent arm movements. It seems I have no endurance or upper body strength. I keep thinking it will come but when????

We have a Wellness Committee at work of which I am a member. I think it's a great program to promote a healthy workforce. Each month we focus on a cause or a topic to endorse whether it be physical, emotional or whatever else assists your well being. Before the recession, we had great incentives where you could earn points and trade them in for prizes at the end of the year, such as cameras, luggage, gift cards, etc. When the economy took a dive, the company tightened its belt and reduced budget numbers across the board. There is still an incentive but they're company bucks that you can turn in for 1/2 day off, watching TV on the big screen in the conference room, jeans day, etc. It's still good and there are many ways to earn the bucks. We have had a stair challenge, different walks, attendance at our annual health fair to name a few. We also try to have several "Lunch and Learns" throughout the year where we bring in speakers.

The month of October is focused on "WALKTOBER". It's a website to promote walking. There is a $4 fee to join and you are able to track your walking and set goals. They also have tips, articles and recipes. When I signed up today I see that there is also a team challenge. I thought maybe I'd put it out there to fellow bloggers to see if anyone is interested in participating and starting a team. You can keep track of your walking by minutes or steps. Just something I'm throwing out there ... let me know. It will start this Friday on October 1st and all team members have to be registered by October 11. I know it's four bucks but have you ever paid four bucks for something that wasn't as good for your health. This just might get you going on being more active. If you're interested, I'm asking you to post the information on your blog to get more participants. If we get more than 20, I'll donate a prize to the person who has the most steps or minutes.

www.walktober.com

What happens at the buffet . . .

As I previous blogged about, last week we spent five days in Tunica, Mississippi at the Horseshoe Resort. All our meals were comped which meant we'd be eating at a lot of buffets. Before we left, I challenged myself to a couple of things. First was to use the workout facilities that the hotel had available and the other was to eat responsibly. If I passed those two tests, hopefully I could come back from this vacation without a gain. So I guess my dream was to forget about coming home a winner, I wanted to come home a loser ... a little different from most trips to a casino.

While I didn't like what the scales had to say as I weighed when I returned home, I knew I had a couple of days before my official weigh-in. I was hoping because of spending a lot of time in the car driving home, it was just water weight I was seeing. I didn't throw in the towel and kept working throughout the weekend to see a change on the scale.

When I came downstairs yesterday after getting ready for work and making a detour through the dining room (where the scales are positioned under a cabinet) Gary said ... well? My reply was "I'm pretty sure I'm down". I have a tendency to forget numbers when I not weighing every day. Before I headed out the door for work, we were talking and Gary said he thought I did well on vacation for the surroundings and the temptations. Then he said, "I gained a couple of pounds too". "TOO" ... was he not listening.

I continued to do my water ritual and have a glass of water on my desk at all times. I know my body works like one of those old water pumps that has to be primed. You know ... water in before any comes out. I weighed on the scales at work before I headed to my TOPS meeting and I was positive I had a loss. I wondered if it would be at least 2# to keep me on schedule of a pound a week. It didn't matter, I just wanted to have a loss to prove to myself that even eating at ten ... yes, that's right 10 buffets in the span of 5 days that I could choose wisely, enjoy what I was eating and still win at the machine ... no, not the slot machine but what I used to call the metal monster. I knew I fulfilled the dare to myself of hitting the gym everyday and at all but one iffy meal, I felt good about what I had eaten.

It was time for the unveiling ... did I or didn't I. Yep, I did. I was down 2 1/2#. Wow, everything turned out like I had planned. Was that because I had a plan? It could be done. WHAT HAPPENS AT THE BUFFET ... lots of veggies with a little protein and a spoonful of something starchy every once in awhile worked ... all the fried stuff and desserts STAYS AT THE BUFFET. I'm almost beginning to think that buffets are the way to go because there is usually multiple veggies to fill your plate but I know that I'll always have choices to make and I hope I make them as wisely.

Inbetween Post

I wasn't going to post anything until after my weigh-in tonight, but thought I could take some time on my lunchhour and play catch up. Being gone on vacation, even with my laptop with me, it was hard to read all the blogs that I follow. It was important for me to post and I accomplished that for the most part only missing a couple of days. One day because I was without internet service and the other day traveling home. Anyway over the past few weeks, I was nominated for a couple of blog awards. Being new at all this, I just set them aside and figured I get to it later. My daughter honored me with the first award but I'll get to it maybe during another lunch hour. It will take a little more brainpower to answer the requirement and this is my first day back to work.

The most recent was from my motivating and inspiring blogfriend Karyn. So here goes, I hope I don't make too much of a mess out of this.

As a condition of the award, I now I have to sum up my blogging philosophy, motivation and experience in five words and play it forward by nominating 10 Bloggers for the award. I guess your suppose to do all this on your page and tell who you got the award from??? It's the "Blog With Substance Award". I got the award from Karyn at http://metamorphosis4life.blogspot.com

Here's my philosophy, motivation, and experience in 5 words:
WHATEVER WORKS, WORK AT IT!

The bloggers I am nominating are:
My #1 fan (I know you already got this from Karyn, so just save it) is my daughter Stephanie
I'm My Favorite - http://immyfavorite.blogspot.com

Chronicles of an Emotional Eater http://chroniclesofanemotionaleater.blogspot.com

Dance like there's no tomorrow http://fattothininoneyear.blogspot.com

Final Destination Healthy http://bernice-finaldestinationhealthy.blogspot.com

From Fat to Fab http://foodaddict-fromfattofab.blogspot.com

My Day - http://myday-tinam.blogspot.com

Nanny's Journey - http://nan-nbeck.blogspot.com

Peeling back the layers - One day at a time
http://peelingbackthelayers-onedayatatime.blogspot.com

Rotund Revolution - http://rotundrevolution.blogspot.com

Weigh Down - http://justquiteating.blogspot.com

There ya go! I hope the links work.

~Sheilah

Wiped Out

We're home from our vacation and camping trip and I'm trying to get in game mode for work tomorrow and it ain't happening. I'm ready to slow down and be at home but not the day to day 8-5 routine. Camping was fun with the kids. The State Recreation Area where we camped had a Frisbe Golf Course setup and the grandkids and even the big kids had fun. The weather was very fall like ... to the point of having a real chill in the air and I still smell like smoke sitting here typing this as I spent a lot of time around the campfire keeping warm. I'm hoping that I burned a few extra calories just by my body trying to keep warm. I ate okay while there. We had hobo dinners for our evening meal on Saturday (and yes, I did put a few slices of potato in mine) but later around the campfire I did pass on the s'mores. Yeah, Nan, I didn't have these ooey, gooey treats. I'm not a big fan of marshmallows but in times past, I would have eaten them just to be one of the crowd. I also brought cereal for breakfast this morning even though I would have have loved to had some pancakes and sausage. So camp eating was okay but when we stopped on the way home for lunch today ... I caved and got fries with my grilled chicken sandwich. I could always do worse, but I'm not quite there 100% on doing better. Do I need to be? I'm never going to be one of the healthful eaters with tofu and spouts. That's why I chose counting points for my program of choice to lose weight. I can get right back on my program just as quick as I get off. I don't think I could do that with any other plan. Just like last week when exchanging execising for that spoonful of mac n cheese or glass of wine.

What I'm looking forward to right now has nothing to do with food, although I'm hungry and I don't feel that sensation very often. As soon as the Colts game is over, I'm headed for a hot shower and the fresh smell of vanilla. No not ice cream but body wash and shampoo. I think it's going to be a light dinner and early to bed, so maybe I'll stay out of trouble and those fries won't come into play and I'll have a better shot tomorrow when facing the scale at my TOPS meeting.

Shut My Moutht

I shoud have stayed off the scale this a.m. I know the long drive home yesterday .... sitting in the car for 8 or 9 hours and not making any potty stops could have caused scale fluctution. Someone need to come up with some cute one or two word phrase for that .. the fluctauation thing. I wasn't happy but I was afraid I overdid it on Thursday. I thought I was giving it my all by putting time in the gym everyday and eliminating alcohol while in the casino (I did have a glass of wine on two occaions in the room) and never felt upset about giving up dessert the entire trip because it was my choice.

I'm very frustrated and irritable this morning. I seem to be picking fights with Gary this morning. We're going on an overnight camping trip with Stephanie and her family and we stopped at the store to pick up a few things we needed. We started arguing how many potatoes to get ... how stupid is that. Maybe it had something to do with (in my mind) being told I don't need any potatoes..

I don't like feeling this this way ... so what am I going to do about it ... keep my mouth shut to start ... in more ways than one. Enjoy my family and keep as active as I can out in the woods. I still have a couple of days before weigh-in and who knows what will happen Monday night. Whatever happens will not keep me going forward even if have some mileage to make up. There are comfort and filling stations along my route that will keep me moving. Detours can be upsetting especially when you were moving along quite nicely but you eventually are on the right path again if you keep on the detour route and not get to far off the main road. The length of the detour is up to me.

I went and did it

I was aggravated that I couldn't blog yesterday. I'm one of those persons that would lose her head if it wasn't attached. Before we left on vacation, I couldn't find my credit card. We checked all current charges and there wasn't any that we hadn't made but to make sure I hadn't lost and it was picked up by someone that might be tempted to use it, we decided to cancel it and call for another one. Chase was great in overnighting the card to us here at the hotel. But, our reservation was under the old card which was cancelled and I think it had something to do with not having internet yesterday because it is an extra charge. I didn't want to mess with it yesterday and we were due to check out today anyway. However, we got our stay extended for another day. This comp was in my name, so ... WALL-LA internet connection and I can continue with the rest of the story.

Enough about that. I have kept my commitment about making time for the gym during our stay but I have been having trouble getting my time in on the stationery bike. It's kicking my butt. Yesterday I was determined that I was going to be the victor. As they say on American Idol and America's Got Talent, song selection is everything and it was because of having the right music playing on my IPOD that got me started. However for the first 5 minutes, I'm dying. I hear a beep and the readout says "warm-up completed". Are you kidding me .... WARM UP. I'm really sweating here, but I'm not giving up ... I'm getting through this. Between 15 and 20 minutes I started getting in a groove and I thought I had it made but at 22, I was starting to hit the wall again. On any day but this day, I would have said 22 minutes is decent but I was out to prove something to myself. I knew that I was constantly looking at the readout to see how many MORE minutes. I finally thought that's got to stop. I threw my towel over the readout and convinced myself just to listen to the next three or four songs and see where I was ... Where was I. I was at my goal on that piece of equipment that I couldn't figure out how to set the tension but that was also shaping my hips and thighs and I felt that I could even conquer Paul Dean's buffet. The suggestion of just one spoonful was helpful to me. I did stay away from all the fried delicacies but did have one spoonful of dressing and one spoonful of mac n cheese and I even left some of both on my plate ... a micromorsel but it was there.

I'm doing this and I'm winning. Well, gotta go ... got a date at the gym.

~Sheilah

I'm trying

I didn't make it back to the gym last night. Again Ms. Whimpy here. I realize that walking in the neighborhood is something I should do when I get home. It should be cooler then ... although it was 100 here yesterday and I know close to that today. But when I walk in the neighborhood, I have a lot to look at and contemplate about and the main thing that when I get tired, I've still got to keep walking just to get back home. On the treadmill, I'm there with a push of the red button. I did get 30 minutes (my target) this morning but the bike is really doing a number on me. I went back for a second time today, just now getting back and I'm ready to take a nap. Maybe because of a rotten night's sleep. I always sleep fitfully on the first night in a strange bed. Anyway I'll try again tomorrow.

I mentioned in a previous blog about the new show Mike & Molly. Sorry about recommending it ... although it wasn't a recommendation, I just wondered about it was going to be betrayed ... I did find some offense to a couple of the scenes, not huge but enough to not tune in next week. The two main characters were okay but they can dump the rest.

Still making wise choices at the buffet. Tomorrow is Paul Dean's Buffet, so I need to build some confidence for that.

~Sheilah

On the Road Again

It’s been a long day. Erick flew in for the Colts game and we had to take him to the airport this morning for his flight back to Maryland. His flight was at 6:15 a.m. which meant we had to leave the house at 4:45 a.m. We dropped him off and kept heading west and then south.

We’re now in Tunica Mississippi . I have several weeks vacation that I need to use it or lose it, so we decided to spend the week here. It’s one of the cheapest vacations we can take. There are eight casinos here and for being a $5 table players we can get free rooms and there is never a problem getting free food. We have three free nights at the Horseshoe and they said to check later to see if we can extend our stay.

They have a workout room here and I vowed that I would have my butt in there every day we’re here. It weird how different the same type of machines can be to work on. I went this afternoon and got on the bike and treadmill but whimped out after only about 20 minutes combined. I felt uncomfortable, even though I was the only one in there. I hadn’t weighed myself all week and I wanted to weigh this morning before we left but I was in too much of a rush. I weighed myself before I left the workout room and was disappointed to see no change that would give me a cushion. I think that was divine intervention because I don’t need to see anything that will give me any second thoughts about indulging in all the buffets they have here.

We got our comp for dinner (at a buffet) and the first thing I saw after we were seated was the dessert table that featured Pineapple Upside Down cake which is one of my favorites. It is fruit based, right? :) I looked carefully at all my choices and started with a small tossed salad with lowfat dressing and then went with a small piece of chicken breast, a small piece of pork loin and a baked potato and veggies. I won’t go into detail about what I could have had because I don’t want to tempt anyone through the power of suggestion. I sat there sipping on my diet coke while Gary had a second helping consisting of a pasta dish that smelled heavenly and three desserts. Oh well, what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger,huh? I just kept saying … not today, maybe tomorrow and I hope to say the same thing tomorrow.

We were planning on turning in early but I may entertain the idea of another trip down to the workout room and give it another go. We’ll see

My Friend

Ms. Aqua is my friend. She is always there when I need her and I need to admit I need her a lot. It makes me wonder why I don't make it a priority to hang out with her more often. I'm starting to feel bad because I realize that I've ignored her on occasions. She's always sitting there ready to fill this void in me when I'm crying out for someone to answer my plea to help me stay the course.

Maybe I just didn't realize how important she is. She is very versatile and has helped out so many in so many ways. Those with arthritis, she has lubricated their joints to help them move easier. Those facing one of those "0" birthdays like the big 4-0, 5-0, 6-0, she is a true friends, by helping to eliminate facial lines. What about those facing a plateau, she raises metabolism to get you losing again. She also helps with muscle tone as you are losing to prevent sagging skin. She's been known to eliminate that run-down draggy feeling called fatigue. She's also a partner in giving you clear, bright eyes by adding moisture to prevent dryness as well as being there for you to improve your circulation and blood flow. Often puffiness and bloating disappear with her magic. I've heard she can even help suppress your appetite. Just indulge in her contents before eating ANYTHING and you might just not eat as much.

For some reason while I was thinking about my friend, it reminded me of the hymn "Flowing like a River". The one line of "setting all the captives free" resonates with me. I want to be free and I will be if I walk day in and day out with my friend Ms. Aqua.

New Things

One of my duties where I work is to maintain a “Happy Place”. Tough job, huh? This is what we call our corporate bulletin board. It’s in a spot outside our lunchroom that when you need to get away from the stresses that pop up, you can go down and read articles, update yourself on local activities, see what current movies are coming up or maybe even a suggestion to check out what’s on TV. It’s just a place to take a break. Yesterday morning I was working on the board, updating it for October. I thought I would feature one of the new television series for the new season. I was looking over listings and came across “Mike and Molly” on CBS. It’s about a couple that meets at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. I am very curious as to how it will be perceived by overweight people, as well as the general public. I know when Biggest Loser premiered many said who wants to watch a show about people’s struggles with weight but it became a very popular show. One, for me, that gives inspiration and motivation. But, a comedy that I am sure will have wise cracks and fingers pointing, I’m not too sure. The producers claim the show is “about love, not waistlines”. Who knows, perhaps we’ll learn something . Maybe we can relate. I plan to give it a try.

Yesterday on my afternoon of errand running, I visited Selective Seconds (http://www.selectiveseconds.com/). My daughter has talked about it on her blog (http://www.immyfavorite.blogspot.com/) and I’ve been wanting to check it out. It’s a clothing consignment shop. I was really impressed. It was a much larger store than I anticipated and the layout and organization made it easy to shop. They carry a wide selection of sizes up to 4X. They have many displays that the employees have put together with separate pieces that have been brought in that include scarves and jewelry. While I was going through the racks, I hear a voice say “what do you think of this”. I turned around and saw she was speaking to me. Well, you don’t want to offend but I really didn’t care for the floral top she was wearing all that much. She said I’m so short and round and I don’t want to look dumpy. I told her that I really didn’t care for the colors, that they were too muted. We talked a minute about maybe wearing it as a jacket with a brighter top under it. I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone’s opinion about how something looks on me. Maybe I just don’t want to hear an unbiased opinion. I bought a few things that included a jacket and top. I thought they may go with a pair of brown slacks I had that were packed away because they were too small. I wondered if perhaps I could wear them now as some of my clothes were starting to feel looser. When I got home I pulled the box out of the closet and went through its contents trying on some things as I searched. I’m sure these were items that were too small a couple of years ago when I packed them away or were they? I was feeling pretty good that a couple of pairs of slacks fit okay but when I found the brown ones they were still too tight. That’s okay, I took them out, put them on a hanger to put in the closet. I’ll try them on again next month to see if I have a new outfit.

What's the phrase

We had a birthday celebration yesterday at work and I was asked to bring in the ice cream. I knew I was going to be busy on Wednesday night so I thought since we wouldn't be getting together until 1:30 that I'd walk to the store on my lunch hour which is about a one-mile hike roundtrip.

One of the automatic signals close to the store is set-up for blind pedestrians. As I was standing there waiting to cross the street I heard ... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. It was even in a deep stern voice and it was coming from above (my head) and I thought boy do I need one of those sometimes. That's right ... sometimes if I would just wait for a few minutes or even in the time it takes to say "do I really want to jeopardize my hard-working efforts", I might just be avoiding a big problem that involves more mind games than I already seem to be playing. I continued into the store and stood in front of the freezer with so many choices. Wow, decisions, decisions, decisions. I reminded myself this isn't for me. I'm going to participate in the celebration, but I don't intend to party hearty. I will just say "none for me". I've done that in the past and I can do it now. So, do I buy something I don't care for, just in case ... is there anything in there I don't like. I kept it simple with vanilla and chocolate chip and put it in the freezer until PARTY TIME when I got back to the office.

Jeri had gotten one of those huge chocolate mousse cakes from Costco. Boy did it look good. She mentioned it weighed 9 1/2# and I immediately visualized 4# extra on each hip and 1 1/2# on my belly. I reminded myself the phrase is "none for me". Why did I choose to sit in a position that would be served last ... why couldn't I use my practiced phrase at the start of the "would you like ..." serving line instead at near the end. It's okay ... my week has turned around and I'm gonna keep it going in that direction ... "NONE FOR ME".

Getting Along

I did pretty well yesterday. I still had what I brought for lunch on Monday waiting on me in the fridge at work. I had lunch provided at work both Monday and Tuesday and I was really looking forward to my tuna salad and fruit. I wonder how many people bring brown bags lunches to work and just eat them out of the bag. There's one gal in my office that I swear takes 15 minutes preparing her lunch, plating it like she was vying for some grand prize on the "Food Channel". I, however, do think it is important to make what you're eating look attractive, especially when you're eating less and try to lose weight. It has also helped me to use a smaller plate. It just make those smaller portions look bigger and helps to trick the brain a little. I mean with all the games the brain lays on us, turn around is fair play, isn't it? I did get out for a walk after I had my lunch like I had planned and the weather was beautiful.

Stephanie had sent an email saying that Wednesday was their night to eat at Moe's and Jacob was having his Cub Scout Rain Gutter Regatta and wondered if we wanted to join them. I am so fortunate to have Stephanie and Jim and Erick and Kim realize how important it is for us to be included in their lives and activities. Even after a dozen years or so ... probably even more of going through Empty Nest Syndrome, I still have relapses. I miss having family at home and I know Gary is probably saying "What am I ... Chopped Liver" but it's just that motherly feeling and need, having someone to nuture. Silly, I know ... well ... anyway I immediately looked up the nutrition information and knew what I was having, nothing to muddle over in my mind and no decisions to make on the spot. I had more than enough points to use as long as I stayed out of the chips ... which I did. I practiced my new slow eating technique and was fine. Moe's also gives you the option of having your selection prepared the way you want it and I opted to leave off the cheese and sour cream. DID GOOD!

After we ate we had about an hour before the Cub Scout meeting started so I went home to change clothes, as I came directly from work to be on time for dinner. Since we had some time to kill, I thought I would put the extra time to good use and do a little of my Richard Simmons video. I really don't like this video. I don't like the moves as much as his other videos but maybe I'll get use to it. Then off to the races. The way they race the boats is the boys blow on the sails to maneuver them down the gutter to the finish line. It's fun watching. Too bad that Jacob had to race against his friend, but it seemed like everyone had a good time. We got home in time to watch the premier of Survivor and see Ms. Chatter Box sign her own "Exit ... Stage Left".

It turned out to be a pretty good day!

Hump Day

So far, so good ... It's a beautiful crisp morning with fall in the air. I've got a positive attitude and ready for what the day may bring. The last couple of days I've held my ground but just seemed to be coasting. No energy or motivation. Last night I slept through the night and don't even remember dreaming which can be a good thing because the last few, that I remember, have been bothersome. Sleep is very important while I'm developing this new lifestyle. I need to be rested to be strong enough not to collapse like a house of cards when faced with tough decisions.

Last night was Zumba and after the session my mood started to lift. I guess what they say about exercise is correct. My body was craving the energy it provides even if my mind wasn't onboard. It's just something I need to do. Once I get going, I'm okay. Maybe I can compare it to me not being a morning person. Every morning when that alarm goes off I DO NOT want to get out of bed but it's something I have to do and once I'm up and moving I'm fine.

I plan to take a long walk on my lunch hour and enjoy what I see around me. That's another to clear my head and I always feel better after. Other than that, not much to report.

Missed the Target

My weigh-in was last night and as I mentioned yesterday I knew I would have a good loss. I don't know why I couldn't just leave it at that. I immediately had to start doing the math of what my loss needed to be taking into account my last weigh in, when I had a gain of 3 1/2#'s.

I couldn't weigh in on my "OFFICIAL" scale last week because we were out of state so there was a two-week gap. With my gain and the average of 1# per week loss I've been using as my goal, I figured I needed to lose at least 5 1/2# to hit the bulls eye. My loss last night was 5# ... whoo-hoo! I am pleased with it. I didn't hit the bulls eye but being a hair away can still win the prize.

This morning, I pulled out my trusty yet dusty notebook that I have all my stats in and find that I started this blog on June 21 which was 12 weeks ago and I have lost 13 pounds, so that means I'm still on pace of the 1# per week loss. Not a huge amount but at a clip I thought I could keep up and not get easily frustrated. I know I have to look at the positives. I could easily go back and do some fuzzy math and come out with a different average if I used the beginning of the year but I wasn't giving my entire effort during some of those months. However, if I use the beginning of the year, I'll have a larger total loss of 17 pounds, which sounds better than 13 ... why do I do this? Why do I have such an obsession with numbers? Why don't I bring out the measuring tape too ... there's numbers on it. It is an obsession, isn't it ... I've got to get away from that ... how do I do that and stay vigilant.

Yesterday was a tough day and I'm even having a bit of a telltale grey Tuesday. Something is just not in sync. I feel really on the outside looking in and disconnected. When I have those kind of days I go searching and blog reading is sometimes helpful but sometimes not so much. So many are doing so great and pulling huge numbers and I am inspired by their motivation and perseverance but yet have a tendency to feel left behind and wonder if I'm doing enough. Others are struggling and are being criticized for using the wrong plan, not being steadfast in their efforts or being a dreamer. I guess you've just got to take it all in and decide what's best for you. Act on what inspires you and throw the other stuff aside. As Tammy said and as I have heard so many others say, sometimes it's better just to take one day at a time. While not always getting there, practice brings you closer to perfect and I'll continue practicing each and every day to choose what I eat wisely and continue being as active as I can, even if I can't always get to a gym..

Another new week

Geez, for a weekend where we had nothing planned, it sure was busy. Our high school homecoming football game and after party on Friday, movie on Saturday and yesterday we spent the afternoon with Stephanie, Jim and the kids watching the Colts game. I fixed lunch beforehand and took into account that most of us were watching our diets. I had both regular hot dogs and fat free ones, along with regular buns and lite buns. I made my own coney sauce which only had one point per spoonful. I used the leanest beef I could find which was ground sirloin. I could have probably used ground turkey but I didn't want to affect the taste. I also had a wide variety of fruit that can be enjoyed the rest of the week.

At dinner last night Gary made a comment that was very true. He said you're really making a conscious effort to eat slower, aren't you?" Yep, he was right. It seems like I'm always the first one finished, no matter what I eat. I had always thought that was the case because I'm usually the one that listens and doesn't do much talking being the shy person I am but came to realize that I almost swallow things whole. Kim and I were talking last weekend and she mentioned the term "shoveler" and yep, that's me. So, like Gary said ... I was really going to make an effort to change my pattern of eating. I was going to start taking smaller bites, cutting my food into smaller pieces and chewing more. I have also learned to put down my fork every once and awhile and take a break ... if only for 15 - 20 seconds. Last night, it seemed like the food tasted better and I had the feeling full sensation before everything was gone on my plate. I need to keep up this conscious effort until it becomes another one of those good habits that will help me get to my goal.

Tonight is my weigh-in and I know I will be down several pounds from my last one two weeks ago when I had a pretty good gain. Part of me says I need to have at least a 5 1/2 pound loss to have a successful weigh-in ... getting the 3 1/2# off I had gained plus two more to keep the average of at least one pound a week. I really don't think that is going to happen and I shouldn't be playing the numbers game. I thought I was over it, but it keeps creeping back. That inner being that I want to become is telling me to be happy with whatever loss is recorded and continue to do all I can do to reach my goal. Don't stop thinking about tomorrow!!!!!

Busy Saturday

It felt good sleeping in yesterday morning. I had a lot to do around the house since we've been gone so much lately but I still wanted to head over to the rec center and get a short work out in. I'm not a lover of gym-type exercise but thought that if I got into a routine that it would push me into it. I just can't see myself craving exercise like some people do ... YET. The gym was pretty busy.

I mentioned that I've been doing one-minute sprints on the bike and on my first one yesterday, I could feel my left contact come out. I got off the bike and went into the restroom to reposition it and when I got back someone was on my bike. Oh well, there were plenty of treadmills available. I did my time on one and the bike was available again, so I climbed on and rode into the sunset or at least finished what I set out to accomplish.

When I got home, it was budget time and going through the mass of papers that needed to be sorted through and filed and trashed. I swear we about drown in paper. It seems to come out of the air ... just like those unwanted pounds. But they both gotta go. Amongst the receipts, coupons, junk mail and other stuff, I found a wrapper that I had brought home from Maryland. We went to Dairy Queen, which I may have mentioned, when we were at Erick's. Kim and I got one of their "Fudge Bars". I had stuck the wrapper in my purse because I wanted to calculate the WW point value. The odd thing on the nutrition information showed that it had 6 grams of fiber. I even mentioned that as we were all sitting there eating our treats and both Erick and Gary said in unison ... you've got to eat the stick. Anyway, I just checked the points and because of the fiber there is 0 points. That's right none ... nada. Let's all go to DQ, I know what I'm getting.

Gary suggested going to the movie to see "The American" and asked me which showing I wanted to see. I thought it'd be nice to have something to do in the evening, so I choose the 7:20 show. I figured I could go to the store and get something for dinner and then we could go to the show after we ate. Well I never made it to the store and I spent a little too much time in the bathtub. I had thought earlier about giving myself some spa time after doing my chores with candle light, mood music and fragrance in the air soaking in the tub ... well, all I got was the tub part but it was nice and relaxing. The full spa treatment would have to wait for another day.

Anyway, it ended up being only about an hour before the movie would start, so it meant a quick bite somewhere. We ended up at Pasquale's where I got a stromboli. Their stromboli's are like steak sandwiches and because I had eaten lite earlier in the day, it fit into my plan without any second guessing. We got to the theatre and Gary had to have his popcorn and I had a handful toward the bottom after he had eaten all the butter laced kernals from the top because of the extra butter that he had added. I'm still not quite there from refraining from something that is right in front of me or should I say in arms length but I'm getting closer. The movie was absolutely awful. It was slow moving, left a lot of unanswered question and definiately one that I wouldn't recommend ... even if you're a George Clooney fan.

Living life to the fullest

Friday was my half-day at work. When I started that schedule to help out the company reduce their budget, I didn't think I would like it because ... hey, I was already at work, why not just stay there. But, I changed my tune. It's nice to get a headstart on the weekend and there's a lot I can get done with those four hours. Yesterday, it was to head to the gym to help work off those extra points from the night before. It had been awhile since I had been there because of our trip to visit the kids and I wondered if I would be starting over at square one and would have to build up my stamina again. Gary dropped me off (he was going to take the car to get the oil changed) and I told him to pick me up in an hour. When I got there, I thought maybe I should have told him that I would walk home. It would be quite a hike but ... maybe I'll try it today and check the mileage.

I had worked up my routine to spend 20 minutes on the bike. I had a dream the night before that I got there and didn't have my ipod and couldn't do it, so I made sure I had my music with me to make the time go faster. I headed upstairs at the Community Center and was shocked to see only two other people using the machines. If anybody didn't like exercising in front of people this was the time to go. That never bothered me, I figured that people that were there were in their own zone and weren't there to people watch.

I climbed on the bike started pedaling and switched on the IPod ... nothing. I pushed the button again ... how was I going to do 20 minutes without music when I was rusty ... was my dream a reality. Finally I pushed in the cord and whall-a "the beat goes on". I stayed in over the 70 rpm area and switched it up every five minutes in a sprint of over 100 rpm for a minute. I got to my 20 minutes and thought what the heck, go for 30. I was watching the mileage I had biked and calories burned but at 22 minutes the bike turned off and the readout went dark and I couldn't remember what I had accomplished. But I wanted to go 30 minutes, so I started again and went another 8 minutes. When I finished the 30 minutes, I got off the bike and immediately had a flashback to the horseback riding we did in July in Wisconsin. Could I even do the treadmill. Well, I was going to try to do at least 15 minutes. I had to start out slow and didn't even set an incline but then I was in a rhythm and increasing the speed and adding incline but it was really an effort. I kept pushing and even tried to jog a little. A little was right, maybe 15 seconds which seemed like at least a minute. I was about to give it up for the day, still thinking about my overeating the night before when a Fleetwood Mac song started playing. I'm not one to listen to lyrics all that much but knew Gary really liked the song, so I started listening to the words and they kept me going, the lyrics are

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, It'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterdays gone, yesterdays gone.

Why not think about times to come,
And not about the things that you've done,
If your life was bad to you,
Just think what tomorrow will do.

All I want is to see you smile,
If it takes just a little while,
I know you don't believe that its true,
I never meant any harm to you.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, It'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterdays gone, yesterdays gone.

That song got me through and on to working off 100 calories which I had set my target at instead of the time. Life is good and I'm living it.

Off the Mark

Boy ... the power of suggestion. In my last post, I mentioned not being bothered by the vending machines in our break-room and low and behold what problem did I have yesterday? Yeah, I was so bored in the afternoon; all I wanted to do was go downstairs and get something out of this gambling mechanism that wouldn't make me a winner or a loser. Candy wasn't an option, but I thought mmmm, peanuts would be good protein. Yeah, and peanut butter crackers would be a source of protein too. Then the light-bulb went off and I remembered the fruit ... yes how easily I forgot, I have an apple and grapes in the fridge so you all know what my next move was. I guess my boredom must have clouded that part of my brain or maybe I'm almost to where I want to be but just not quite.

Last night wasn't going to be one of those typical nights when I get home from work and relax. We had a "night out" planned. That doesn't usually happen when I have to go to work the next day but my niece's husband ... what do you call your niece's husband ... your nephew? He really isn't a blood relative and to come to think of it she isn't either since she's my husband's brother's daughter ... maybe my nephew-in-law. Anyway, JASON has started playing with this new band called "The Innocent Band". They play Billy Joel music and it was the premier ... debut performance last night. I would go home from work, change clothes and we would drive to the venue and get something to eat there before they took the stage.

I thought mmmm, why not wear jeans and it'll give me an opportunity to see if the weight I've lost is shown in those jeans I haven't worn in awhile. Wrong move, I know that the jeans I have do not measure success. They're always tight and it was NO exception to the rule last night but it's okay I was able to wear them and not feel any part of me having the circulation cut off and Gary said I looked nice.

We were on our way and when we got to the place it look liked no place we have ever been. It was just a big room with a stage and a few bar tables and stools. It kinda looked like a big warehouse. There was no waiters or waitresses. You had to go to the bar to order your drinks and food. I had checked online and they had listed what food they had in the restaurant and I picked out what I had planned to order ahead of time but found out in the room with the stage they did not offer the restaurant menu ... just munchies like fries, fried mushrooms, nachos, etc. We didn't want to give up our table as the crowd was starting to come in. I knew that Gary wouldn't be able to wait until after the show to go eat something and I tried to refrain from the breaded fried mushrooms he ordered but they were right there in front of me and I was hungry. He did eat the majority but I had a few. After the show, which was absolutely terrific and well received by the crowd, we headed out to find a place for dinner. It was after 9:00 and I knew that wasn't good to be eating that late. I knew we wanted a sit down place but had no idea what food counts were because I don't have a smart phone and I had left my kindle at home. We choose Chili's and I tried to be wise by getting the steak sandwich without a bun. It was slices of beef with grilled onions and mushrooms and also had provolone cheese. After the fact I knew that I could have asked them to leave off the cheese when I asked for no bun but I guess I really wanted it and was convincing myself that provolone wasn't that bad. It also came with fries and I ate half of those. I told myself that this is what I wanted, I should be happy that I did modify or reduce what I had eaten and one high calorie day didn't ruin anything, so enjoy. I was about 15 points over for the day but I had eaten well all week and I still had three days ahead of me. No need to freak out. I plan on going to the gym and doing my video today since I only work until noon.

Walking and Exercising

When I got to work yesterday morning I checked my email and found that one of the gals on our "Wellness Committee" was starting up weekly lunch-hour walks since the weather should start being a bit nicer than the 90 degrees we've had over the summer. I totally would go on this trek but I didn't know about it before hand and didn't bring any walking shoes. Guess I need to leave some under my desk for such occurrences. Anyway I took a pass because I have this thing about being different. Who would go on a walk in heels?

Since we got home late last night, there was nothing to bring for lunch. I had grilled chicken from Cracker Barrel left over from the dinner we had on our way home from Maryland and I grabbed that on my way out. I knew it wasn't much but I certainly didn't want another meal out. I thought about what I said about walking places and thought I could walk to the grocery that is about 1/2 mile from the office and get some salad mix and dressing and could cut up the chicken and have a tasty lunch, so that's what I did. I also got a couple of apples and some grapes to snack on while at work too. I'm usually not one that frequents the vending machines but if I have my own snacks that will make that temptation even less. The only problem was that the salad mix I got wasn't my cup of tea. It had snap peas and while Gary always talked about the peas inside tasting like candy ... the ones in the salad mix must be related to the coconut candy I don't like. The good news is there is only one serving left and I will avoid the peas like they were candy!

Gary tried a new recipe for dinner. It was from the Paula Dean magazine. No, it wasn’t basted in butter and then rolled in breadcrumbs and fried. It was Rosemary Chicken and I discovered I don’t like Rosemary. There was a sauce, rue or whatever you call the term for the stuff that went over the pork chops that consisted of apples, onions, mushrooms and rosemary. The taste of rosemary was really too strong for my liking. The pork chops were good though. While Gary was fixing dinner, I was going to exercise with my new “Sweating to the Oldies” tape. I couldn’t get through the whole thing but did get a short workout. I was sweating. I’m sure if I try it long enough I’ll get the moves down but I don’t think it really matters as long as I’m moving AND SWEATING.

Back to the Grind

Well not much to post today after a long day in the car yesterday. We left the kids house around 9:00 a.m. and didn't get home until almost 9:00 p.m. There would usually be snacking going on but not for me this trip. Gary did get a big bag of something ... cheetos, fritos ... I don't know and I didn't ask. We did stop for all three meals but for the most part I choose wisely and made any necessary modifications like having a chili cheese dog but removing the bun and half of the chili and cheese. We did stop at a new casino in Pennsylvania that we had never been to on the way home. That was where we had lunch at their snack bar. It gave us an opportunity to break up the drive and do a little walking. The odd thing about the trip home though, was that we didn't stop at any rest areas. That meant that I didn't drink any water along the way and that probably wasn't a good move. I did have it with my meals though.

This morning after I got ready for work and headed downstairs, with Gary following behind me, I went to get on the scale and Gary said "are you sure you want to do that". No problem, I felt I made wise decisions when we ate out, which was two meals every single day, and I tried to stay as active as I could walking and playing with the grand kids. I felt I would have a loss. Although feelings can get you in big trouble. Well my plan was to weigh and see where I was when I got home and then stay off the scale until next Monday morning, the day of my official weigh at TOPS. I had missed my TOPS meeting this week, as well as Zumba class, because of our trip. But it was no excuse to sluff off. Anyway, I did get on the scale to see that the remainder of my gain from last weigh-in was gone with a little more to boot. I even went down another hash mark. Yeah ... I proved it again, you can go on a trip and come back lighter.

Well, it back to work. Another day ... another dollar so we can be off on another adventure.

Goodbye Maryland

We're headed home after a great and wonderful holiday weekend with the family. In terms of doing anything special like sightseeing or things like that wasn't in our plans but we were kept busy doing things together and keeping pretty active and that was my hope.

We ate out the entire time we were there and I proved to myself that could be done with no adverse affects. Yesterday our meal destinations were set for the day and I knew what I would be ordering. However when I got to California Tortilla for lunch what I wanted wasn't on this location's menu ... so all I could do was punt but still did okay and didn't let the sitation influence me to get something way too high in calories. After lunch we dropped off Erick and Katherine, so they could take a nap and went to the mall to get new tennis shoes for Evan. While Kim, Evan and Brandon were in the shoe store ... Gary and I went in a nearby music and video store. The song that was playing over the intercom was one of my Zumba songs and I was looking for a Zumba video ... was this an omen? Guess not ... they had a couple of Latin dance ones but I had one of those and specifically wanted Zumba. I ended up getting a Richard Simmons Sweating to the Oldies. I used these before and enjoyed them but the ones I have are on VHS and I wanted something to do in the privacy of our bedroom. I'll try it out tomorrow.

When we got home from the mall, all the kids played outside before dinneer and I, again, was one of the kids. This time I actually jumped rope which I hear is good exercise, but I could only jump about 9 consecutives times. Gary's right I don't know how to jump ... well not very high anyway. When it was time to go to dinner, Kim and I walked to the restaurant which was a little bit more exercise with the walk being about 1 1/2 miles. I'll have to check out where I can walk to instead of driving at home. I started this on the way home on the kindle but when I saved it, I could find it again so it's 9:00 p.m., we're home and I'm ready to crash

On Top of the World

Yesterday it was about time to go to lunch and Erick said to me "We were planning on going to Joe's " and then he hesitated, I knew he had some concerned about me watching my diet and I said that's fine, they have salad and fruit and I can have one slice of pizza and be okay. I also added "I'M IN CONTROL". So off to Joe's we went. Well, I didn't see any fruit but I started with soup and ate mainly the broth and then I went back for my salad. Those two prior to my treat of a slice of pizza did the trick of filling me up. Awhile back on my "Class Blog" I posed the question of which is best ... the first bite or the last? I wonder if knowing if I was only going to have one slice of pizza made that slice taste so good or if it was just really, really good pizza but it was awsome from the first bite to the last bite.

After lunch we made a quick stop home so the kids could put on their tennis shoes and then we were off to the park. I felt terrific and just like a little kid. I was going to be active in the park, not just sit there and watch the kids play. I was going to run ... jump, even though Gary says I don't know how to jump ... and play on the slide, swings, etc. It was fun keeping up with Katherine as she scurried from one place to another and it was a little exercise too. I'm posting a couple photos of my fun day.

Still a Kid in Some Ways

Yesterday was beautiful here in Maryland. We had mild temps and a nice breeze (maybe compliments of Earl). Kim and I, along with Evan who was riding his scooter and Katherine in the stroller left for the flea market and it was even a little chilly in the shade but I knew things would heat up on our walk. Kim is much shorter than me with shorter legs but she certainly has a good stride. She said she has learned to walk fast to keep up with Erick who is about a foot taller than she. It was truly a workout on our minimum of 1 1/2 miles to the train station where the swap meet is held. Erick and Gary took the van and met us there. Erick is training for a marathon in January and in his training he will be running 11 miles tomorrow, so he didn't need to walk.

They say that one person's junk is another one's treasure. We only found one piece of junk we'd consider bringing home and that was a wine decanter and glasses that had a sailing ship etched on them but the gal wanted more than the two offers we made initially and our FINAL offer as we were leaving. We left empty handed and I wondered if everyone was going to ride back home in the van. Kim asked if I was going to walk back and while I could really feel it in my back from walking all the aisles at the flea market, I knew it was something I needed to do, so we headed back. The hills seem to be optical illusions. When you were on them there didn't visually seem to be any incline but you could feel it and see it way ahead of you. We approached "Killer Hill" as we got closer to the house, and it made me use the mantra of ... I can do this, I can do this, I can do this and I DID!

We had lunch at Chick Fillet and I checked out the nutrition page BEFORE we left. YEAH ME! I opted for the 4 piece chicken strips and fries and only ate two of the strips. I shared the fries and was fine. Brandon wasn't feeling good, fighting a stomach bug, so we decided just to order in for dinner. A place suggested was Lido's which is a pizza and pasta place and when the decision was made, I immediately went to their webpage and checked out their nutrition page. Yep, pizza and pasta dishes have lots of calories and I wanted to remain in my target for the day, so I decided to go with a kids meal. When the order was made no one at the restaurant could say, "she ain't no kid" since it was a carry out and I felt comfortable asking for this portion. When Erick and Gary brought the food back, I thought the portion was a little small ... but it was enough and I knew I still had enough points for some ice cream later in the evening.

I'm pretty proud of myself for making the choices I'm making away from home and still enjoying what I'm eating. I know I'll be happy about the results on the scales when I get home too!

Enjoying Our Time

Not much happened yesterday to report. Just enjoying being with family. It didn't take long for Katherine to warm up to us and before we knew it she was feeding us from her kitchen. It was great because her food didn't have any calories.

All my talk about checking points ahead of time was both good and bad. We went to a local place that serves rice bowls for lunch and they didn't have a website or were on any website to help me with the points. Kim helped out with her smart phone by looking up comparable food items and I think I did okay with the sesame garlic chicken with brown rice. I only ate 1/2 the serving. The good thing is here in Maryland their law is already in effect that places with over and now I can't remember if it's over 3 or 5 locations have to have calorie counts available on the menu. I can't wait until that is a federal mandate. Anyway we went to Red Robin so dinner and WHOA ... calorie laden menu. I finally decided on the grilled chicken bunless but I did order the fries and enjoyed.

I didn't get any exercise yesterday. I thought about taking a walk after dinner but got involved in "Hi Ho Cherry-O" I won the first game. Wonder how many calories that burned. We're suppose to go to a flea market tomorrow and the location is about 1.5 miles with sidewalks along the way, so we're talking about walking there, so walking there and back along with the walking we'll do there should be "just the ticket". Got to continue to make wise choices.

Check Before ... Not After

Yesterday I worked until noon and then we were off to Maryland for the holiday weekend and to spend time with the family. I wasn’t worried about eating properly. I had already proven to myself this could be done when I came back from our Wisconsin vacation with a loss. I feel better that I have a little confidence under my belt and determination to stick to the plan. After about an hour on the road it was time to stop for lunch and Gary asked me what I wanted. I said something from a dollar menu somewhere, so we could save on money and calories. The dollar menu items are always the small portion. We ended up at Wendy’s and I could have sworn that the dollar menu chicken sandwich was grilled … I thought I had it before but maybe that was McD’s or Arby’s. I thought even though it was fried, since it was small it would be acceptable. I failed to look ahead to see what other choices I had and ordered the sandwich and a baked potato.

My new Kindle has the WhisperNet feature that I can get the internet on it. After we left Wendy’s, I downloaded www.dwlz.com to check points and found there were several menu items with less points than the chicken sandwich. Gary recommended I write those down in a notebook so I have more informed choices the next time I'm faced with what to order.

I thought what a great way to pass the time while riding in the car but to check out blogs but OH THE DRAMA! No, it wasn't Stephanie’s blog (www.immyfavorite.blogspot.com), although hers was thought provoking with the question of what to give others when it comes to food, both as gift choices and guests in your home. What really got to me was this one site where a person’s comment was pretty direct to someone that was struggling with the right choices. It was to the point of I’ve tried to tell you and you aren’t listening and now I’m out of here. Pretty direct stuff. I went back to read some of this commentator stuff and it was odd to see that she had posted something a couple days prior asking how to handle the situation of a friend not getting it and how to approach her on the subject. The odd thing was the person getting the rant yesterday had commented on the commentator’s post. It was odd, I don’t know how I would have reacted if someone was so blunt with me. I probably would have been hurt at first but still would listen. I’ve always said that I need a coach more than a cheerleader.

I had just enough points left to stop at Cracker Barrel. Yes, I returned to the scene of the crime. The place where I lost all my motivation last weekend and that which started my spiral to end up with a gain at my last weigh-in. One thing that I did on this drive was to drink water constantly. In the past, I could go the whole trip without a potty stop. This time was different and once we got to Cracker Barrel, I had to go. I ran into the “john” and closed the stall door and then it hit me … why were their urinals in the women’s restroom. I immediately ran out thanking God no one else was in there or coming in there. I just assumed all Cracker Barrel’s restrooms were layed out in the same manner with the women’s on the right but this wasn’t the case in West Virginia.

I had my Chicken n Dumplin’s as Stephanie pointed out were less than the grilled chicken salad and a double of green beans since I had used too many points for lunch. Oh, I did have enough points left for ½ biscuit with butter and I was fine with that. I felt in control, I was in control.

I Have the Power

Yesterday my boss called in on his way to the office and asked if I'd go pick up some lunch for the two of us and a couple of other co-workers. He asked that I go to Shapiro's. Indy's great Jewish deli. They have huge sandwiches and macaroni and cheese to die for (and you probably would if you ate enough of this artery clogging cheesy delicacy). My initial reaction was panic. What was I going to do? I had my day planned out with exactly how many points I was going to write down which even included a treat in the evening. I thought about the mac n cheese and my mouth started to water ... I could probably work all this into my plan and have a light dinner. Gary was fixing pork chops, au gratin potatoes and green beans It was going to be a very nice dinner and if I had my usual from Shapiro's, it meant that I could have ONLY the green beans. Is that how I really wanted to eat? Just because I was the one picking up the lunch didn't mean I had to participate in it ... and I chose not to for a change. In times past, I would be screaming ... it's not fair. I find today that I don't care if it's fair or not. It's what I wanted to do and I had the power to do it and I'm proud of that.


The following is something that a friend on my TOPS loop sent that I need to keep available for times like yesterday.


Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair." Know that there is no single way that
life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a
sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life
just happens to us regardless of our best intentions. Our only path to
happiness lies in being open to receiving whatever life throws at us - with
Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm back in the saddle and excited to be back on the trail. I checked in with the scales this morning and saw that I was down 2#. That was what I needed to see, to know that things can be reversed in a short period of time. I won't need that confirmation for awhile and will probably avoid them until the day of my next weigh-in.

I've always believed in the KISS method (keep it simple sheilah) but I think I lost sight of that when it came to trying to lose weight. It has always been fighting cravings, analyzing emotions, avoiding temptation, competing for the top spot and I found that I get lost in all of that. All it really takes is something as simple as a plan. A guideline, something to lead you in the right direction. It helps you stay on the right road and gets you where you want to go in the best timeframe.

I know for this to work I have to track my points by writing them down and preplanning my daily intake as much as I can so I can enjoy what I'm eating and have no regrets. I remember a time when that was so easy and become as second nature as breathing. It's hard to get in the habit at the start but it won't always be that way.

Last night Gary and I were met a classmate of ours that we haven't seen since we graduated in 1967. We weren't friends in high school but in my role as trying to bring our class closer together and promote our reunions that didn't matter. We had a great evening getting caught up with things that happened then and what was happening in our lives now. When I found out what restaurant we were going to, I immediately pulled up their website to see if they had their menu posted. They were a little pricey, so I decided what I would do was order one of their sandwiches that came with a side. I ended up getting the grilled chicken which I dismantled and put the bun on the bread plate that had been empty all night (no problem on passing on the bread ... I learned my lesson) and my side was a baked potato. The focus wasn't on the dinner, it was on the conversation and it was a great evening.