Friday, September 28, 2012


It was a dark, dreary morning yesterday and I had to drag myself out of bed and I was moving pretty slow.  I was just going through the motions not fully awake until I stepped on the scale and the result was in my post yesterday.  I dwelled on it all the way to work, composing my thoughts to write in my blog.  I wasn't in a good place and I was getting more upset with each stop light.  I was late for work and didn't have time to jot down my blog.  I kept busy all morning which was a good thing, because it helped to diffuse some of my anger.  By the time I wrote down my thoughts, while still upset, I had settled down some and after I wrote and read and reread my words, I started to calm down even more.  I am so thankful to be able to blog, I'm proud to have stuck with it, because it's a tremendous aid.  I'm definiately reaching out, expressing my emotion, if only to myself.  I see the struggle, the irony, the defeat, the determination, the success and realize it's all temporary.  Things change ... sometimes within a short period of time and sometimes it takes longer than we think we can hold out ... but amazingly we do.  I realize now that disappointment is what gives us another chance to do something a little better.

After I completed my blog post on my lunchhour, I was catching up on MFP, filling in my food entries.  For some reason, I was curious to see how many calories were actually burned walking, so I plugged that in.  I still wasn't feeling well and I hadn't intended on walking, but just wanted the information.  Low and behold, it posted that I had walked 30 minutes and burned 109 calories and then I saw that someone posted great job and I immediately had my motivation to head to the mall and get in a lunchtime walk.

On the way home from work I realized that I hadn't coughed a lot during the day and wondered if I was feeling better?  It had been so long.  When I got home, I found that Gary wasn't feeling well ... oh great, are we going to keep passing this around?   I took it easy and went to bed early,  looking forward to having a long weekend since it was a Friday I didn't have to work.

1 comment:

Bernice said...

If I can stop letting the scale determine how it will effect me so can you!! After all are we in a race? I know you are in a contest but will you will 1 million dollars? The ultimate goal is to win at the losing game! And that my friend is what your doing!! I'm sure it had a lot to do with being sick. I'm sure you didn't eat all those extra calories. If we can retrain our brain on how not to eat so much. We can train our brain that the scale is just a tool we use make sure we are going inthw right direction. Think about it. You went away for almost two weeks. Ate what you wanted. Didn't feel deprived and still lost weight. That is the right direction. So how do you get involved in contest on Mfp? I want to do it!