FILLER ER UP

Yesterday was a great day.  Beautiful fall weather which is my favorite time of year.  I mentally had a "to do" list and was able to mark off pretty much everything on my list.  I finally felt like I accomplished things on a weekend and did not dilly dally it away.  Errands and laundry were pretty high on the list.  Being sick last week and on vacation the week before made for a pile of laundry.  I'm from the old school and still iron ... and there was plenty of that.  I wanted to log in the calories used for the ironing because I was actually sweating after one of the blocks of time and was sure it was just as much as walking but was sadly mistaken when I searched for it.  It was 84 calories for an hour of ironing.  I then saw that you burn more calories fishing in a boat which was 218 calories ... what's up with that?  Oh well ... it is, what it is and I'll take it.  It's just that it didn't burn off the extra calories from a salad that I thought was much lower.  Tomorrow is a brand new day.

SLEEP

I didn't have to work yesterday and I didn't get out of bed until 9:00.  I felt pretty good and I think maybe it had to do with all the sleep I've gotten in the last couple of days.  Well ... maybe the antibiotic kicking in too.  I've heard time and time again that the right amount of sleep is good for those watching their weight too.  Wonder why ... maybe I should look that up and used it for a program at my TOPS meeting.

We were picking the grandkids up at school around 12:30.  They had early dismissal and our plan was to stop for lunch and head to the Children's Museum.  The kids love going there and we have an annual grandparents pass.  Smart choice at Arby's with their new hot turkey classic and a side salad on the way to the museum.  It had been awhile since I had been to the CM and they had a couple of exhibits I hadn't seen and enjoyed as much as the kids.  We weren't there long enough to get a lot of walking in but everything counts.

We dropped the kids off at their mom's office as we were going to a fun evening at Wine and Canvas.  It was date night and we were going to paint a companion piece.  First we had to have dinner and not knowing that side of town too well, Stephanie suggested a good Italian restaurant.  I've got my moojo back and when Gary offered me the bread basket, I had no problem passing.  I choose a pennetta which is penne and portebello mushrooms in a red sauce.  I didn't mind not having the meat I usually have when I'm having Italian.  It was very good but I did leave some on my plate just to remind me who was in control.

The painting class was fun and it gave my emotional side exactly what I needed right now.  That was a friend helping a friend.  I'm no artist and I not too confident in my ability.  Gary helped me along with the step by step instructions when I was having trouble.  He was very patient too which was especially endearing.  Together we completed our masterpiece and had a fun "Date Night".

IT'S ALL GOOD

It was a dark, dreary morning yesterday and I had to drag myself out of bed and I was moving pretty slow.  I was just going through the motions not fully awake until I stepped on the scale and the result was in my post yesterday.  I dwelled on it all the way to work, composing my thoughts to write in my blog.  I wasn't in a good place and I was getting more upset with each stop light.  I was late for work and didn't have time to jot down my blog.  I kept busy all morning which was a good thing, because it helped to diffuse some of my anger.  By the time I wrote down my thoughts, while still upset, I had settled down some and after I wrote and read and reread my words, I started to calm down even more.  I am so thankful to be able to blog, I'm proud to have stuck with it, because it's a tremendous aid.  I'm definiately reaching out, expressing my emotion, if only to myself.  I see the struggle, the irony, the defeat, the determination, the success and realize it's all temporary.  Things change ... sometimes within a short period of time and sometimes it takes longer than we think we can hold out ... but amazingly we do.  I realize now that disappointment is what gives us another chance to do something a little better.

After I completed my blog post on my lunchhour, I was catching up on MFP, filling in my food entries.  For some reason, I was curious to see how many calories were actually burned walking, so I plugged that in.  I still wasn't feeling well and I hadn't intended on walking, but just wanted the information.  Low and behold, it posted that I had walked 30 minutes and burned 109 calories and then I saw that someone posted great job and I immediately had my motivation to head to the mall and get in a lunchtime walk.

On the way home from work I realized that I hadn't coughed a lot during the day and wondered if I was feeling better?  It had been so long.  When I got home, I found that Gary wasn't feeling well ... oh great, are we going to keep passing this around?   I took it easy and went to bed early,  looking forward to having a long weekend since it was a Friday I didn't have to work.

RANT

As I was lying in bed last night, I was thinking there wouldn't be much to post to my blog this morning.  I was still feeling lousy, nothing much was happening and I was in bed before 8:00 p.m., hoping tomorrow would be a better day.  Because of the Holiday Challenge I got myself into on MFP, I knew that Thursday was weigh-in day and I knew I was in good shape with my 2# loss on Monday but maybe I would be adding a little to that, having a couple more days.  I even told Gary last night when we were discussing dinner, that I didn't want salad or rice because that tends to make me hold water.  I wanted to add to the loss as much as I could because I felt I had let my two team members down this week because part of the challenge included logging your calories burned by exercise and I basically had none because of being sick.  I had walked a little but it was minimal.  I even posted a message of apology yesterday to those members, but saying at least I'm losing.

Okay, you probably know where this is going.  I usually post about stuff the day before but when I got on the scales this morning I was ticked ... I needed to get it off my chest.  I know my brain is foggy because of the congestion, medication and blahness but when I saw that I was down one pound from my last weigh in for the contest (which was the day before we left on vacation).  I flipped out.  I wasn't able to weigh-in last week.  Are you saying, well you lost?  Yes but I was down two pounds on Monday which meant I gained one pound.  I really gained more than that because on my scales I was down 2.8 pounds Monday morning.  Maybe that's why 3# was stuck in my brain for my weigh-in at TOPS but I accepted the 2# after thinking about it, as I posted Tuesday.  But what I was seeing on the scale computes to overeating 9,800 calories in three days, which I know is totally ridiculous.  Here I was EXPECTING to be down at least three pounds and while it's still a pound, I've actually gained if you subtract this, carry that over and come up with x ... it's all fuzzy math to me, but it doesn't make me feel any better. 

Okay, I've ranted ... maybe I do feel better.  I know I'm not going to go off the deep end but .... but ... okay I'm done, it's over and it's time to move on.  

DANGER ... DANGER

I've really been trying to fight this bug I have with all I've got by pretty much ignoring it and doing what needs to be done.  I've even tried to get a little walking in, mainly because of a challenge I'm in on MFP.  However yesterday when I walked any distance at all I found myself out of breath and a tightness in my chest.  Hence, time to head to the doctor.  I called when the office opened and was able to get a 10:00 appointment.  I'm now taking an antibiotic and the doc says I should feel better in a few days.  I sure hope so or my plan is to spend the weekend in bed.  I'm so worn out, I may do that anyway.

I guess it's a natural reaction when you aren't feeling well to find some comfort or a diversion in something else ... but why is it that the majority of time that something else happens to be food.  When lunch rolled around and I didn't have anything in the office to eat, I knew I be heading out into the cold, damp streets in search of comfort.  A cold crisp salad wouldn't cut it and neither would a sandwich ... I wanted something warm and coating.  Why is that?  Macaroni and Cheese, Mashed Potatoes, Homemade Noodles ... that all sounded so soothing.  Good thing I couldn't get any of those things within walking distance.  I ended up with chili which wasn't too bad of a choice, but I found myself wanting more.  Several times during the afternoon, thoughts turned to munching ... I guess it was a diversion mechanism and one that I thought would make me feel better.  I also knew that was dangerous and I fought it off.

Dinner wasn't very exciting or comforting, just nourishing so I found my comfort in the evening lying on the couch, dozing through the premieres that I had looked forward to watching.  I just keep telling myself ... it's going to get better.

SATISFACTION

It was back to work yesterday after a great vacation.  The highlight, of course, was visiting the kids.  It was my mission to actually lose weight while I was in vacation mode.  I had done it before and I was out to prove to myself that it wasn't a fluke and could be done again, if I was committed to my plan.  I did take a sneak peak on my scales yesterday morning and knew that I would be successful on the TOPS scale last night.  I think the excitement of weighing in got me through the day, as I just can't seem to shake whatever has hold of me and wasn't feeling that well.  Yes, victory was mine.  I lost two pounds.  Then ... my mind went to work undermining my success.  What could be better than a loss ... what could be better than 2 whole pounds?  Well, what about three pounds?  Over the two week period of weighing in, that would give me my average of 1.5# that MFP said that I need to lose.  The "if only ... coulda ... shoulda" dialogue set in.  But, I stopped that way of thinking before it got out of hand.  Life is too short to live with regrets ... any kind of regret.  I'm proud of what I accomplished and I'm going to keep moving forward.  If I can get through a vacation, having a good time, enjoying what I'm doing and come home with a loss, just think what else I can accomplish if I really try. 

IT TOOK EFFORT

I didn't get to post yesterday.  The hotel where we stayed didn't have free WIFI to do a post yesterday morning before we left and I was totally wiped out and headed for bed when we got home.  I don't quite understand that the more expensive the hotel you stay in, it has less services.  Our rate was great through HotWire but we had to pay for parking and while they had internet services, I didn't think it was worth the extra money for it.  The hotel was a Sheraton.  It was in an old building and just beautiful in St. Louis.

Nothing much happened on Saturday.  We were in the car most of the day.  I really concentrated on drinking lots of water on the trip and we had to stop and hit rest areas quite a bit.  Yesterday was pretty much the same thing.  We stopped at a Sports Bar to catch some of the football game on the way home and I decided that was going to be my main meal since it was a sandwich and fries.

As I look back over our last 10 days, I think I did well.  There were times when I could have done better but in the scope of things, I was satisfied and have no regrets.  I ate what I wanted and never felt that I couldn't have something because I was on a diet.  I guess that's because I'm not on a diet.  I'm just making better choices as well as making adjustments.

Tonight will be like seeing my final grade posted on an exam when I step on the official scales at TOPS, although I had a sneak preview on my scales this morning and I'm still grinning. 

SLIPPING

Yesterday I felt I wasn't entirely on my game.  I don't feel that I have that much to write about, so I wonder about writing at all.  Yesterday, I could describe our day here in Pigeon Forge but this blog is mainly the day by day account of how I'm doing on the way to achieving my weight goal.  Of course that involves the activities but yesterday seemed to be such a lazy day and one where I lost some focus.  We lounged around the room until going down for breakfast and then came back and took our time getting ready to head out ... it was almost 11:00 when we left the hotel.  We headed for the outlet mall and its layout was prohibitive from parking in one spot and walking which would have been great exerise.  Instead we were in and out of the car many times which I guess counts for something.  We hit a couple of wineries, and had lunch at a hamburger joint.  At this point, I still felt I was doing okay.  Gary shared his onion rings with me and I had a few but felt good that it wasn't a whole order.  We visited the Titantic exhibit which was pretty cool and there was walking there.

We came back to the room to rest before going to a show and having a late dinner.  I hate eating late but the show was a last minute decision and because of the time we ate lunch and the starting time of the show, there was no option.  Dinner was my biggest downfall.  Woodside Grill.  If you saw that would you have thought it was a buffet.  Well, it turned out to be and maybe because I was tired I caved and filled my plate ... twice.  The first time it was salad and a chicken leg but TWICE.  The I'm on vacation thinking somehow got passed the .... it's so foggy, what was that other section of my brain that was helping me to make wise decisions.  Well, what's done is done and I know there still is hope and one out doesn't end the game.  I just don't want to see a delay of game on account of lame excuses.

STILL ON THE MOVE

We're now in the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area.  We left Cherokee yesterday morning and stopped a couple of times in Smokey Mountain National Park.  The views were outstanding and we did a small amount of hiking to get to the higher vistas.

Once in Gatlinburg we stopped at a couple of wineries.  I find myself limiting the number of tastings just like I watch my portions with food.  Gary got to talking to a couple in the winery and we ended up following them to the next winery which had its own parking lot.  Gary thought we could just park there for the afternoon as we had lunch and browsed the shoppes.  I felt uncomfortable about doing that because it was posted that it was just parking for the winery.  He said I was weird but agreed to go to the public parking.  Why are there some things that I just have to follow the rules?

After some shopping we checked into the hotel and the first thing I wanted to do was go to their fitness room and weigh-in for a challenge I'm participating in where the weigh-ins are on Thursday.  I was also anxious to see how I was doing as I was trying harder than normal to take some pounds off while on vacation.  Can you believe it ... their workout room DID NOT have a scale.  What's up with that.  Maybe there's an old fashion drug store around that has a scale outside the store.  I remember when that actual was a reality.  Am I dating myself?

For dinner, we were looking to have some Italian.  We plugged Food ... Italian into the GPS and headed toward our destination.  I don't know what it is but when we're traveling we have this major problem finding Italian restaurants.  We went to two locations last night where the restaurant was closed and one that we couldn't even find.  Check that ... let's just find someplace to eat.  There was a Carino's and Olive Garden but when we travel, we like to eat at places we don't have at home.  We forgot about Italian and ended up at place J.T. Hannah's kitchen and guess what I had ... spaghetti and meatballs.  It was actually on the pasta section of their menu.  I left half of it on my plate.  Not that it wasn't okay but I'm just still watching my portions.

Here's a photo that I took inside of Berkshire's where we had lunch.

CHANGING THE THOUGHT PROCESS

We were up early yesterday morning.  We were headed to Asheville to visit the Biltmore Estate.  We saw online that you could get discount tickets at AAA; and for as expensive as they are, we took advantage of saving a little money and stopped at the local office on our way.   I just love the mountain views of this part of the country.   We got to the Biltmore around 10:30 and it didn’t seem to be too crowded which was what he were hoping for.  We took a self-directed tour of the house and when we were about halfway through the over 50 areas of the house, we decided to take a break for lunch.  We had lunch in the old stable and I looked hard and long over the menu, ending up with the rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes …. Better than a burger or the BLT.  After we got through the house, Gary wasn’t feeling well and sat on the huge porch while I visited the gardens … or should I say some of the gardens as there were many of them but I knew Gary was waiting.  It was a lot of walking and climbing up and down steps.  I certainly got in a lot of exercises for my lower extremities and my lungs. When I got back to the porch, Gary was ready to go.  I was wanting to go to the Village to do some shopping but that obviously wasn’t going to happen.  I have a friend making the trip in November with her sisters, so maybe I can describe to her what I want and she can get it for me.  As we were driving Gary stated THAT meaning The Biltmore Estate was a girl thing.  It's some place that I've been wanting to visit for a long time and I thanked him for taking me.  I can’t wait until Gracie and Katherine are big and then maybe all five of us girls can take a GIRL trip together to places like that.

The depressing thoughts started seeping in and changing my mood.  I hate when I start thinking that way.  How could my thoughts be so self-centered,  I could see that Gary didn’t feel well.  We had a free room at the Cherokee Resort through our Player’s Club with Harrah’s.  It was a beautiful complex and our room was in the new tower.  I thought for sure Gary would want to take a nap but he was anxious to hit the casino floor.  At this point I was trying to shift my mood.  I suggested that we earned some ice cream from all the walking we did at the estate.  I’ve heard so much lately about it being important to eat your extra earned exercise calories.  All I saw in the food court was Johnny Rockets, so we decided to get shakes.  Once we had ordered, I saw that the booth next to it had hard ice cream … oh well, wonder which would have been my best choice. 

I wasn’t having any luck on the machines and was tired, so I decided to go back to the room.  Gary came back shortly after and we watched Survivor before going to find something for dinner.  I couldn’t find my player’s card (I must have left it in a machine) so on the way to get another one, we walked past the buffet but the price was a little steep so we thought we’d see what else was in the food court.  When I got my new card, the gal said I had $18 on my card for food and Gary had her check his and he had $22, so we headed back to the buffet.  While still not in the best mood, I told myself I wasn’t going to medicate myself with food.  As I was thinking that, I saw a sign over the food section that said “Comfort Food”.    I told myself that my body is responding just fine to the way I’ve been eating and my mind would just have to make do.  I may have eaten a little more than I should but it definitely wasn’t a binge on the wrong kind of foods where I’d be waking up with regrets in the morning …. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

We dropped Evan off at school yesterday and were on our way again toward North Carolina.  There's some things to be said about living in a big city but traffic isn't oneI of them.  I don't think there is any rush hour or should I say it's always rush hour on the beltway around DC.  Although traffic was heavy it was moving and I didn't hear TOO many complaints from Gary.  After we got off the loop, we looked for a McDonald's for our traditional breakfast.  Make that traditional for Gary, modified for me.  I ordered the fruit parfait and let me tell you, it was great.  The strawberries and blueberries tasted very fresh and the added granola gave it the right amount of crunch.  It reminded me of the homemade parfait at a B&B we stayed at outside of Boston.  Yummy.

When we left Erick's, it was drizzling.  When we got into North Carolina, it was raining harder.  We stopped at Wendy's for lunch and ordered the spicy chicken off the value menu and getting senior drinks, along with a small chili, our lunch for two was around six bucks.  You can't beat that.  When we walked out of Wendy's, it had almost stopped raining, yeah!  I speak too soon ... it wasn't long before we were in a deluge.  Raining so hard that you could hardly see the tail-lights in front of you.  We went through several episodes of this and finally we saw some clearing.  We had planned on stopping at a couple of wineries but found that they were closed on Tuesday.  Because of the weather, we got to Winston-Salem a little later than we thought to do any sightseeing.  There was one place called Korner's Folly that sounded interesting.  It sounded a lot like the Winchester House in California, but after reading more about it, I found that it was also closed on Tuesday.  Strike three.  We decided to go to Hanes Mall which had over 200 stores.  It was supposed to be the largest mall between Atlanta and DC.  I thought surely I'd be able to find my PJ's.  I hit all the department stores, plus some specialty stores.  No luck.  I did see a couple of pair that would have fit the bill but one was pink and I already have a pink pair and the other had a paisley pattern which reminded me of Stephanie.  Wen she was little, she sayed that paisley looks like germs ... so I passed on those too.  Oh well, more shopping is planned for Gatlinburg.

Our mystery hotel was a Holiday Inn Express.  I alway choose a hotel with a rating of 3 or higher and have decided the rating is all about the towels in the bathroom, although my theory may be have been proved wrong because the towels at this HIE were nice and big and very fluffy.  The shower head in the bathroom was awesome too.  We had an early dinner, did a little more shopping to use up some of our dinner calories and went back to the room to turn in early.

   

DON'T MISS WORKING

Oh how tempting it would be to retire, but then we wouldn't be traveling as much as we are now with the extra money.  So, I'll just take advantage of sleeping in when I'm not working and yesterday was good, although Gary was up at 5:00 a.m., but I was able to go back to sleep and then around 8:00 Katherine came in to say Good Morning and I dozed while she was watching Playhouse Disney.  I like to take time waking up and getting out of bed and this was perfect.

The boys were out of school yesterday, so the plan was to meet Erick for lunch and then take a walk around the lake at the shopping complex and do some shopping.  I am so proud of myself for doing what I need to do when eating out.  I got a turkey club for lunch.  Most clubs are cut into 4-6 sections but this was just a normal sandwich cut in half.  I certainly didn't need that extra slice of bread in the middle and it was easy to disassemble.  I gave my fries to Katherine as the sandwich was plenty for me anyway and I have learned that sandwiches CAN stand alone.

We walked around the lake, it being a beautiful day.  I started out wearing a jacket but when the sun came out from under the clouds it was warm enough without it.  We stopped along the way while Katherine took shots of the many different kinds of flowers with her mom's phone. 

We then made a stop at the bookstore.  The kids favorite shopping spot.  I looked through the travel section and then thought I'd wander over and see had they had in books about dieting.  Boy, it's true what they say about the diet industry being money making.  Oh so many books from "I can make you thin" to "I can make you hot" to one that says it all .... "Diet Drama".   We then made it over to target and I checked out their intimate apparel section to see what kind of PJ's they might have.  These were my choices

needless to say, I passed.  I'm looking to replace my silk pajamas and these didn't quite match up with what I had.

ANYONE READY FOR FOOTBALL

We knew where we were having lunch ahead of time yesterday which is always a plus.  Erick wanted to go to the Green Turtle because they had all the NFL games and they seat you where your favorite team is playing.  In this household, we are COLTS fans.

I pulled up their menu, looked it over and pretty much knew what I was going to order ahead of time.  An apple pecan salad looked good.  I then remembered that here in Maryland all chain restaurants had to have the calories posted on their menus, I searched and downloaded their menu .... but wow, that was a shocker and time to change my decision.  I always heard about salads are not ALWAYS the best choice but holy cow that salad had 1175 calories.  That's almost my whole day's allotment and I had already eaten cereal for my breakfast.  As I was checking out my options, Gary got interested and couldn't believe the calorie count on some of the items he would have chosen.  I AM rubbing off on him.  What was my "final answer".  I chose the cheeseburger sliders and french onion soup.  My calories were at 610.  While that's still high for lunch, it was doable.  Of course two of the sliders came home in a "to go" box but I'm okay with that.

Yesterday the Colts won and so did I!!! 

HOTTER THAN I THOUGHT

We got up what seemed like the crack of dawn yesterday.  I got up early to go to the bathroom and woke Gary and since we were both awake decided to pack up and head the rest of the way to Maryland.  We needed to be at the ball diamond at 1:00 for Evan's game but thought we could kill some time on the way.  We stopped at a winery where their tasting room was in a barn that dated back to the mid-1800's.  Very cool ... cooler than their wines.

It was a beautiful fall day, good weather for a ballgame although I found out when we left that the sun was still pretty hot.  Most of us had a little sunburn on some part of our body.  Mine was on my arms ... guess I'll end up with a farmer's tan.

Erick is coaching Evan's team and they were undefeated but he said that yesterday's game would be a test.  A test they passed with flying colors.  This was the first time we had seen Evan play this season and first time ever for Erick coaching.  Erick warmed up the pitcher while the catcher was getting his gear on and we hadn't seen him in that position for over twenty years when he played high school ball.  Oh, it's good to relive those memories.

Yesterday was a tough day food wise.  Two meals at McDonald's (breakfast and lunch).  Routine of our past has been to grab McDonald's drive-thru as we head out on the road.  I need to look for a better choice from their breakfast menu ... when I finish this, I'm out to see what you can get for the least amount of calories to still be able to continue our tradition.  Either that or prepare something ahead of time.  We had about an hour before the game and we were in such a remote location that the only place around was McD's so that's where we had lunch.  The type of restaurant I have my biggest challenge are Mexican restaurants and guess where we had dinner last night.  The last two times friends have gone to a Mexican restaurant, I politely passed not to be tempted and even shared that fact with Gary.  When we were on our way to dinner in Erick's car and found out where we were going, Gary said ... "sorry hun".  I said that's okay, just remind me tactfully if I tend to reach for the chips.  I ended up ordering the mixed fajitas and for the day I was over my calorie count by 100 ... not too bad.   I know for some that fast food is completely off limits but I'm not out to change my way of eating just my choices and if I'm still losing and that makes me happy and successful, I'm okay with that. 

TOO MUCH

I normally like to write my posts in the morning about the previous day but here it is almost 9:00 p.m.  It been a busy day.

Gary picked me up from work yesterday and we started on our journey.  I couldn't believe the change in the weather.  It was very chilly and I questioned my decision about packing mostly shorts.  I guessed I'd have to make do or wear the same pair of jeans over and over.  I always have a jacket with me ... so even though I had sleaveless tops, I'd be okay there.  We're eventually going to be heading south so it should be a little warmer, but the weather is so unpredictable, so who knows.

We were going to break up the drive and spend the night in Washington, PA.  I booked our room through Hot Wire and got a good deal.  Our mystery hotel was the DoubleTree.  We were fortunate that it had a restaurant and lounge because it was about 9:00 when we checked in and we hadn't had dinner yet.  The restaurant was closed but they were still serving in the bar.  I looked over the menu trying to calculate what the calories would be and what would be the best choice.  It was a limited menu with mostly sandwiches and appetizers.  I saw a flatbread pizza and thought that might work.  When the server brought the food, I couldn't believe it ... that pizza could have fed a family of four.  I was expecting something along the line of an individual pizza.  I ate what I thought I could have ... okay I ate one more piece than that but I couldn't believe that I let her take 2/3's of the pizza away.  I could have eaten more, it was cracker thin but I knew that I had to stop.  I was hoping that Gary would eat some of it so it didn't seem to be a big waste, but he's trying to curb what he eats too.  I couldn't believe earlier that when we stopped for gas and he went instead the convenience store that he didn't come out with a bag of cornies.  I guess I'm getting to be a good example.  So the pizza was taken away and I guess I can say better it go to waste than to my waist.

GOOD DAY

Yesterday was very busy but it was a good day.  I wondered how after waking from a dream where I had been deceived and stabbed in the back by a good friend.  Normally with those kind of dreams, even though it is a dream, can set you off in the wrong direction ... but no, it was a great day.  I felt chipper most of the day with this feeling of bubbleness (if that's a word) keeping me in step with everything wonderful going on.

As I mentioned it was a busy day.  I had to iron and pack when I got home from work for our trip.  I amazed at the difference in how I was about vacations today versus when we were first married.  Then I'd be packed and the suitcases would be at the door a week before we were leaving.  Today, I'm still rushing around thinking I forgot something, leaving everything until the last minute.

Eating was right on target and I'm out to make sure that continues to happen on our trip.

R&R

I finally got the word yesterday that I'll be off next week.  I had put in a request for time off earlier in the week because my boss was going to be out of the office.  I keep a precise schedule to make sure our times out of the office coordinate and that I'm not left at the end of the year with extra time that I won't be able to use.  We'll leave tomorrow when I get off at noon. 

We are going to visit our son and his family and then come home via the Smoky Mountains.  I have done pretty well lately with our weekend trips coming back without a gain but being gone for a whole week is a little unnerving.  I need to recall that when I was determined several years ago and doing well, we took a week's vacation to Door County, Wisconsin and I came back with a loss, so I know it can be done again.  To top that, it was probably one of our BEST vacations, so I'm sure there was no deprivation or feelings of missing out on not being able to eat something.

I have been a little heavy on the protein this week and when I got on the scale this morning I was surprised that I wasn't up a little.  In fact, I may have been down 1/10 or so.  Maybe that's a clue.  When I joined MyFitnessPal I put in my stats, i.e., height, age, weight, etc., and they set my caloric intake to lose 1.5# a week.  My daily calories allowance is 1210 which I thought was low but I've tried to stay as close to it as possible.  This week, I have been going over that, mainly because of more protein.  I'm a little confused as what to do.  I read some things about you can do yourself an injustice by not eating enough and it makes it harder to loose.  I am still going to try to limit my intake to 1210 as I am losing.  I am not weighing daily like I used to because I know all about daily fluctuation and I want to avoid any mental games that causes, so I guess I'll just continue to be aware of what I put in my mouth and watch the portions because that's working.  What do they say ... if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

THAT VOICE

Yesterday was a terrific day minus the hacking.  I've got to the point where I'm not draggy, achey and blah ... it's just when I have a coughing episode that it brings me down.

Our company celebrated a major event yesterday and  we were treated to a lunch at Fogo which is one of those Brazilian steakhouses that has about umpteen cuts of meat coming to you from all sides.  It's all you can eat and for some people MORE than you can eat but you keep eating anytway.  That was me in my past life.  Even when someone else was buying and I didn't need to get my money's worth, I got their money's worth.  I started at the salad bar filling up on the Caesar salad and a little of the chicken salad and apple salad.  Fortunately I passed up the salad dressing by mistake and the line was so long, I wasn't going back.  I had a few cuts of beef and some awesome pork but I did not get to the point where I wished I had worn something with an elastic waist.  I also, much to my amazement, passed on dessert while I eyed giant cheesecake on either side of me.

When I got home Gary had fixed one of my favorites ... spaghetti and meatballs and I was actually hungry for dinner, since I didn't overindulge at lunch.  I stuck to my salad plate portions and had a glass of wine with dinner.

I felt I did have a little splurge for the day with what I had for lunch and dinner but I had no guilt or regret.  I just felt it wouldn't help me lose weight for the day but I didn't think I was going to pack on extra pounds either, if I just counted it as a little more than normal day ... key word being LITTLE.

I still have the voices in my head telling me that I have to stick to the game plan with no deviations or I'm not going to be able to play the WHOLE game but even starters take a break now and then.  However, the voices remind me that it wasn't that long ago that it almost didn't seem to matter.  Then I got the spark from my daughter's blog and the last six weeks are something I can build on.  I'm concerned that she hasn't blogged for awhile though.  I know how important it is for me to write a little something everyday.  She said she's had a couple of hectic weeks but I hope to see some motivating, encouraging words from her soon.  I can't seem to find many other blogs that touch me the way hers does.

Pajama Party

Yep, it's time to go shopping for those new pj's. I lost 1 1/2# last night which brings my total this go round to ten pounds. I now have confidence in myself to keep this trend going. Looking back I am wondering why it took me so long to get back in the game. Oh well, guess you're not suppose to look back ... just keep moving forward. Not much else to report.

WALKING THE WALK

I didn't post yesterday.  I felt pretty lousy.  The best thing about yesterday was Stephanie and her family came over for lunch and to watch the Colts game.  The game turned out about as good as I felt but having family in the house always makes me feel better.

Saturday we went to an art fair called Penrod at the Indianapolis Museum of Art and we did an sizable about of walking which helped mentally to counter balance the lack of wholesome food choices.  I didn't eat much on Saturday, a BBQ sandwich at Penrod, and a hot dog and a box of popcorn for dinner at our high school homecoming football game.  There's just not alot of choices at events like those.  I'm sure the calories didn't hit my maximum and believe me I could have done much worse.  I'm just thankful it's keeping myself in check by blogging on a regular basis and tracking my food.  I'm making choices now where before I gave no thought to what I was putting in my mouth.  I'm also hoping that I can incorporate more structured exercise into the mix.  But now, the amount of food seems to be doing the trick as long as I keep somewhat active.

Tonight is weigh-in and I'm hoping that I'll be earning those new PJ's tonight

Get This Week Behind Thee

Yesterday as I mentioned the scales were up and that set the tone for the day.  I tried to ignore it as much as I could.  I kept reminding myself that's natural fluctuation and as long as the dial didn't jump five to ten pounds overnight things were going to be okay, especially if I hadn't consummed an extra 4,000 calories.  Friday's are probably the best day of the week for me.  My schedule at work is that I work four days a week (Monday thru Thursday) except when my boss is in town on Friday and on those days, I work until noon.  Those 4 hours usually fly by and it gives me an early start on the weekend.

When I got home yesterday the plan was to go to the Outlet mall, have an early dinner and go to a high school football game.  I had a tons of things to do at home because we were gone last weekend, but life is short and domestic tasks can wait.  Gary's goal was finding a new backpack.  The one he has been using was a "Roots" brand that he bought in Toronto eleven years ago and he got good use out of it and it traveled well throughout the U.S., England and Ireland.  I was on the lookout for shoes and a top/blouse that had some royal blue in it to where with a pair of shorts I had bought earlier in the summer.  As what usually happens Gary found a good deal on a leather backpack at Wilson's Leather and I came home empty handed.  I may have to result to looking on the internet for shoes as I can't find anything in the stores.

Shoe shopping did make me have a wierd dream last night.  I don't normally remember my dreams but I have a vague memory of short snippit where I had invented these large tomato can things that you stepped into and walked in and they exercised your calfs and thighs.  No way my big feet could fit into a can, so I don't know where all that came from ... maybe those platform high heels that are in a lot of the shoe stores.

Dinner was Gary's choice and he picked Red Lobster where they were having their shrimpfest.  I knew I'd be alright with grilled chicken and a baked potato as I'm not a seafood lover but found that they now have pork chops on their menu and I had that.  It's serve with two chops and I felt bad about leaving one on my plate.  I would have brought it home to sit in the refrigerator and forget about but we were headed to the football game and I didn't want it sitting in a hot car.  Gary got his money worth of shrimp scampi.  We talked about how shrimp doesn't have that many calories ... it's the butter that's the demon.  He jokingly said he shakes that off.    

We were concerned about the weather for the game, but the skies looked pretty clear and we thought that maybe the storms they predicted were going to blow over.  At halftime we started to see lightning off in the distance and they called the game and we headed home.  I was kept busy most of the day and didn't realize until I got home that I was feeling puney and headed to bed.

YUK

Now I have a suspicion why I've been so tired all week. I think my body has been trying to fight off something. However, I think that gal (who is in the office next to mine, who has been hacking away for the last two weeks) germs have invaded my office because I'm not feeling that great and have this dry cough. Maybe if I keep busy over the weekend it'll go away.

Yesterday I did get in a short walk on my lunch hour and my calories in were right on target but I feel very bloated this morning and the scale said I was up a little. Time to drinks lots of water and flush the blah feeling out.

We've got a lot on tap for the weekend and I hope I'm up for it!

GETTING THERE

For some reason it's been a difficult week.  My head just isn't in it, as I continue to stay in the game but feel like I'm stumbling along the way.  Maybe it's the downer after traveling or the feeling of being out of step because of the holiday and losing a day this week.  The week should be be flying by, but it isn't.  It's been really hard to get out of bed in the morning ... it always is, but more so this week.  I can't wait for the weekend and I hope that I'll start feeling more normal whatever that is.

I went out for lunch yesterday and should have walked the remainder of my lunch hour but I used the excuse that it looked like rain.  I actually did get caught in the rain on the walk back.  I think I was more consistent when I went to the gym when I got home from work, so I need to consider doing that instead of saying I'm going to walk after dinner, as that hasn't been happening.

Gary has had his trail mix out and it hasn't bothered or tempted me up until last night.  In a moment of weakness I grabbed a handful on the way to bed ... of all times.  I'm not freakin' out about it but wondering why?  Maybe I needed the little bit to get it out of my system and a potential binge.  Whatever ... that's done and I feel that I'll eventually get to where I'm going.   

FALLING INTO THE PATTERN

All of our walking over the long weekend must have offset the extra calories because at weigh-in last night I remained at the same weight from the week before.  After looking at my food diary, I'm okay with that and will be especially vigilant this week to see the numbers go down some next week.  I had a very good August and would hope to keep the trend going.

One month into this program and I need not fall into the mindset that I can now relax a little and just let my good habits keep me rolling along.  It's becoming more difficult to blog because I am in better control and not quite struggling with right choices like I was in the beginning meaning that I don't have that much to let out or complain about or analyze, but once I get away from blogging, then I get away from keeping my food diary and then I let things slide here and there and before you know it, I'm back to digging myself out of a hole.

Yesterday I was tired and not in such a terrific mood because it was just a dull, uneventful, non exciting day.  Nothing majorly went wrong but there were no high points either.  I was also facing the unknown of my weigh-in.  It's those kind of days when I can get in trouble pushing the envelope to lift my spirits and if it had been any day other than a weigh in day, it may have been more of a struggle.  But, I was more in check not wanting to do anything that would make things worse at the scale.  It's hard to make adjustments for your emotions when you can't quite put your finger on the source.  Should you just ignore it .... but what if it keeps gnawing at you?  How can you put it to rest without some sort of action?  Ooops, just thinking out loud here and that's the beauty of a blog.

CHOICES

Boy, it's hard to get back blogging when you've been away for a few days and even harder when what you're going to write isn't what you really wanted. We had a terrific weekend in the Chicago area but what I thought were decent choices actually weren't. We didn't take a computer with us because of the extra charge for WIFI and used my Kindle and the hotel's business center which wasn't all that convenient when trying to make restaurant menu choices.  I thought I was doing pretty well, with the exception of yesterday's lunch, until I started entering in my data this morning.  I know that I'm just estimating using generic information but even estimating high, it's obvious I had way too many calories.  Whatever the scales say tonight will have no bearing on what my plans are for now or tomorrow and that is to continue to be aware of what I'm eating and my portion sizes.  If I continue with a positive attitude, I know I'll make less mistakes than I would if I would abandon the whole program.  I will continue learning from my mistakes and tweaking my eating plans when on the road.