Why do we sometimes think we are non-deserving. We don’t bother to take it to the next step because we think what the heck, it’s not going to work out anyway or even worse feel that someone else has control. It’s that all encompassing fear. Yesterday I really wanted to leave work early to get a head start on vacation. I was going to ask if I could leave an hour early. Why was that so hard? Because I was AFRAID of the reaction it would cause. If I avoid asking, I wouldn’t need to deal with it. But if I didn’t, there wouldn’t be any chance of getting what I wanted. Work through the fear. Do it and get it over with and then move on from that result, whatever it is. Fear paralyses you and you don’t move one way or another. That goes for any goal that you set for yourself, incluing eating right or working on an exeercise program.
I told George if we got through everything, I would like to le
have at 11:30 … okay, so I compromised what I wanted. Part of the reasoning was that the department I’m in was celebrating a birthday at 11:15. I hadn’t planned on sharing in the goodies, just the celebration. Anyway, I could tell he wasn’t happy, but he didn’t say much. Was he mad? Was I in trouble? Would this go on my permanent record and how long was I going to fret about it.
We ran into horrible traffic just outside of Indianapolis and about 30 minutes of non-movement we needed to get off at the next exit. It was time for lunch anyway and we decided to go to Mickey D’s because they have free WiFi. I had forgotten to write down the address of the B&B and I could check it out while we ate. We decided to eat off the dollar menu, the smaller sandwiches were a better choice anyway. We got tired of waiting on the internet to load and headed back on the road. Our next traffic jam would be going through Chicago. I’ll never get Gary to take me there for a weekend.
We got to the B&B two hours late and checked in. The owners were out of town and the owner’s mother checked us in and gave us directions to an Italian Restaurant. I ordered Chicken Marsala and a baked potato. Of course the first thing put on the table was a basket of bread. I got through the chips the other night and tonight I got past the bread. TWICE, as Gary had the waiter bring another basket with dinner. My meal was very good but like most restaurants, the servings are twice as large as they need be. We are watching our budget on this trip and of course that means getting the most out of our money and it just about killed me to see that extra chicken go to waste … but no, I wasn’t going to fall for that excuse. Not this time because I have a promise to fulfil. I left 2 small chicken breasts on my plate of the four I was served and I was satisfied ... maybe not full, but satisfied.