Why Does It Bother Me

I love the weekends and being able to sleep in. I often think I should be living on the West Coast as my body seems to be in that time zone. Yesterday I got up early for the weekend at 7:30. I had heard there was rain in the forecast for the morning and hoped to get out to walk before it started. I spent too much time completing updates for my high school class blog. Each month, I send out emails to my fellow classmates, asking a series of questions for them to respond to and I put this up on a blog. It helps us get to know each other a little better and become better connected for our next reunion which will be in 2012. I started doing this after our reunion in 2002. I was afraid we weren’t going to have a reunion that year and got a committee together and those of us on the committee have been very close since then and we’re trying to keep the class together too. Anyway, I send individual emails and that takes awhile.

So anyway, time got away from me but I said I was going to walk, so I was going to walk. I headed out the door and guess what ….? I waited too long, it was raining. Mmm, I figured I could still walk, I had an umbrella so I dug it out of the car and headed out. It wasn’t a major thunderstorm, it was just one of those going to be one of those long, steady rains that hang around all day. I didn’t go quite as far as I had planned which was to a resale shop. I stopped at the major highway as the traffic was pretty busy and it was raining and I didn’t want to maneuver thru all the vehicles. But, I still walked 3 ½ miles round trip which I thought was pretty good. The broken umbrella didn’t do its job but I did mine and I was a little wet when I got home. But that was okay with me, I just changed clothes.

In yesterday’s post, I mentioned I was going to continue writing about the football game and here’s “the rest of the story”. The Lancers were playing the Indiana Deaf School. When the announcer was doing the play by play, she kept saying “Deaf Hoosiers”. It was the Lancers score, the Lancers have a first down but it was the “Deaf Hoosiers” fumble, the “Deaf Hoosiers” are penalized for delay of game. It was never just the "Hoosiers" or even "Deaf School Hoosiers". I thought it sounded horrible. It sounded like a label was put on them … and labels reminded me of being overweight and how we are described. There is one word that I cannot use without being uncomfortable and that is …. “FAT”. I cannot describe myself that way. I can say I’m overweight, I’m chubby, I’m pudgy but I can’t say I’m __________. I wonder why? There are so many blogs that use the word in their title. As I mentioned I’m a TOPS member and it is a support group but if I had to stand up at the meeting like they do at AA and say … Hi, my name is Sheilah and I’m …………, well I guess I’d be looking for another place for support. This bothers me ... maybe enough to get down to a normal weight? Or am I just kidding myself by not admitting it? I choose to think it’s just one of those words like understandable or browsing I just don’t like hearing or using … weird, huh?