I can't thank all of you enough for your comments yesterday. It was exactly what I needed to re-evaluate and to ask myself questions that would move me forward. Sometimes you just feel stuck and having someone extend a hand and walk you out of that rut is a true blessing. Very few times in the past have I received that kind of help, mainly because I haven't asked for it. I have always tried to figure things out for myself. That's what makes blogging so beneficial.
I guess I was just a little weary and needed to be propped up. As you probably well know it's usually not one thing but a combination of things that get you off track. I had several disappointments last week with which I didn't deal well and again it all goes back to a frame of mind. Sometimes things turn out okay but just not the way you envisioned and it makes you wonder if you're doing it right ... whatever "right" is? Then, when I thought I could get away from it all and have fun I was constantly bugged that I still had to weigh in and I HAD to have that loss because it was awards night and I had to deserve any award that I might get. If I had done what my heart felt instead of my head, I would have skipped my meeting, not weighed in on the "official" scales just like being away on vacation. I put entirely too much pressure on myself and was acting out of obligation. Stephanie asked me a hard question ... do I benefit from going to TOPS (this is a group like WW that meets weekly. It's non-profit and they don't provide a diet, it's mainly a support group)? I took a hard long look at that and decided that it really hurt me Monday and if I didn't blog and tried to figure it out on my own in the frame of mind I was in, I may have just started a downward spiral. Thankfully, I have additional support someplace other than my TOPS chapter and today is a much better day. I do think I benefit from my weekly meetings but I need to continue to look at it to see if I really do or if I just enjoy the social part of it. I know many of you go to meetings and use that for your "moment of truth" but maybe it would be better to pick a day and time to step on the scale that is better suited for you.
I did well yesterday and did all that I had planned to do. I made the comment to Stephanie that I felt I was slipping, even though all things indicate I'm not, continuous losses, pretty much in control of my eating, exercising more. I'm still fighting the battle in my head and am afraid that I'm obsessing about it, especially after being so pre-occupied on Sunday and Monday. Sean Anderson said something about this subject and I guess I have a ways to go. He said "when someone is constantly consumed with vocalizing their changes and choices, it can be a sign of uncertainty within them---Don't be uncertain---Feel that confidence within you and realize, that this is the time---Different from all the others...This is the last time we lose this weight. Feels incredible doesn't it?"
Today I feel pretty incredible and I'm just living life.