Last night was my TOPS meeting and weigh-in night. Again, I left home for work yesterday morning thinking I had a loss. I weighed myself again before I left the office still thinking I had a loss. Sometimes weighing on three different scales, you get confused (I am only this obsessive on weigh-in day). I have my weight written down for my "official" weights but at home and work I can never remember exactly what they said from the week before when it's so close and all three are different. Anway, at TOPS when the weight didn't move on the scale, as I stepped on, I knew I was home free. I had lost another 1 1/2# ... that oh familiar number that seems to appear the majority of the time .... YEAH for me! 1 1/2# has been the most I have lost in a week with the exception of the weigh-in after I started blogging in June when I lost 3# or when I went two weeks between weigh-ins because of being out of town.
That's where the "I don't think I care anymore" comes in. I used to get upset that my numbers weren't huge, especially following others that were losing much more, on a weekly basis. It also bothered me when I'd go to my TOPS meeting (where the person losing the most gets recognized) and thinking I did good ... but there was always someone that did better. It was the "Always the Bridesmaid, never the Bride" syndrome. Last night after coming in third, it hit me ... so what, I'm still doing this. I'm still losing. I've hit two goals that I really hadn't even mapped out. I've lost 10% of my highest bodyweight which I've read is very important to you body's wellbeing and future health and I also have lost that first 25#. Just like being individuals on different plans because no one plan works for everyone, losing week by week is pretty much a personal thing too. They say that goals are important and you should set specific goals not just vague ones like ... I want to lose weight. However, you've got to do what's best for you so my only goal is to lose a pound. Not a pound a week but to lose a pound ... the next pound. Right now, because of 1 1/2#'s being a consistent number, it may seem like it is a pound a week, but I'm just fighting for the next pound off and if that happens in one week with a half pound tagged on, that's great; but if it takes two weeks it shouldn't make a difference, it's eventually going to be another pound gone. One day I'm going to have my big day just like the "Bride" and I'll walk proudly in a stunning dress and there WILL be eyes on me, if only my own looking in a mirror.
Oh, you ask what the "Bad News" is ... looks like they may not be offering Zumba at my office anymore. This last session ended up with three people. In the past it's only been open to employees and now they're going to let friends and family participate but if the employee isn't going why would friends and family show up without them. I'll check out our community center ... but in the past only the early Saturday morning class has had room, but we'll see what happens.