Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Reins Are In My Hands

Back in July Gary and I vacationed in Door County, Wisconsin. One of the activities we participated in was horseback riding. I hadn't been on a horse in probably 30 years but I enjoyed it and I think it was good exercise. Goldilocks was my horse. She was an older sturdy horse and we had no problems together but a young girl behind me was on a horse that kept wanting to wander off the path and into the woods to graze on grass. There wasn't any on the path. The teenager was getting frustrated and yelled at the guide for help to get the horse back on the path.

I don't know what brought it on but my morning wasn't the best. I had the same kind of day last week. Just before I went to lunch, I even went to the blogs to see if the ones I followed had any updates to get me past "my mood". No updates since those that I read before I left for work this morning. I even went back and read mine. The sentence that said "I didn't cave". I read it over and over and over but still ended up at ... Stephanie can guess. A place where I consumed at least 22 points. Am I upset, you bet ... what can I do about it? I started by going to the gym and exercising off 400 calories. Gary was planning on fixing another great dinner but knew I wouldn't eat much of it, so after the gym he ordered a small pizza. I had the smallest piece and started writing. I'm not faced with the emotions of beating myself up or giving up or anything like that. I know what's done is done and it's always one step at a time but I'm bothered about this once a week test and why I didn't get a passing grade this time.

Back to the horse. The guide and even some of the other riders told the young girl to pull on the reins. they called out ... make the horse head back by tugging on the reins on the side closest to the path. The rider was getting scared because the horse wasn't cooperating but the guide just kept saying pull on the reins and talk to the horse with a stern voice and finally she got back on the trail. The guide never got off her horse to bring the teen and her horse back, she knew the rider could do it herself. She needed to do it herself. I don't think the young rider had as much fun as the rest of us and I sure hope it doesn't prevent her from riding again.

So, what's my point. I don't know. I know I just had to write something and I thought it would help expressing my frustration not with myself but the situation I put myself in ... or maybe that is the same thing as being frustrated with myself. A little confusion going on here. I'm very emotional and while listening to my IPOD while exercising "I am Woman" came on and hit me in the face, especially the lines ...

"You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul.

The body plateaus sometimes where it doesn't listen no matter what you do, does the brain do the same thing? A good night's sleep will help. Tomorrow being Friday will help.


NAN said...

I have no doubt you will get it together and continue to lose weight. You won't give up and regress and it is Friday! I just stepped on the scale and was disappointed; why do I do that to myself? Yesterday was a great day so I was so sure the scale would show a loss...WRONG! See it's a new day for me too. We have to remember this is no race.

Tessa said...

Sorry I haven't been posting for a few days, was exhausted from daughter's wedding. But I am back starting tomorrow and we must keep going no matter what. We will have our ups and downs but hopefully the downs (in pounds) will out do the ups. Hang in there it is only going to get better for all of us!!!!

Word "comol" - Come all ye faithful - we're gonnna do it!