My mind has been going in so many directions lately. I start out on one thing and then go in a completely different direction on some tangent. Is that what they call being scatterbrained.
I don't know how to describe the weekend. It seemed like there was so much going on or that needed to happen that it was obvious there weren't going to be enough hours in the day. Some things got done, most things didn't ... there were fun times and some uncomfortable moments and **** it was 11:00 p.m. Sunday night and I wondered what had been accomplished or if I had even given any thought to priorities.
The last I wrote I felt that I was reigning in on where I needed to be and I wasn't far from finding my groove again. My eating wasn't entirely under control but it was getting there and I had started exercising again.
Saturday night changed all that. I'm not going to go into detail because it may throw someone off seeing certain items described or such lack of willpower. It would probably even be a little detrimental to myself rehashing it all but I was anything but a wise and healthy person that wants to lose weight.
Notwithstanding Saturday I was able to weigh-in last night and stay at the same weight of the prior week. What am I doing? Am I playing the how far can I push the envelope without getting caught game. Do I even care any more? If I had been more in control I surely would have a loss. A loss that I could build on ... or maybe not. Maybe, I better knuckle down or it will catch up with me next week.
My daughter, Stephanie, had a good post today on her blog about that CLICK that we all are looking for. Something we've had in the past that we need to find to turn on again but seems to be just out of our reach or a memory lapse on how to achieve it again. For me that click has always been indefinable until she explained it. The click is commitment and consistent determination. I have determination but it's been anything but consistent so it's obvious I'm not committed. It seems like when the going gets tough, I look for a cookie to crumble. No more ... I have a bit more insight and I'm going to call myself on those weak moments to find that inner strength and build on each small success. It seems like such a struggle right now, so I guess it's still going be one day at a time.
Mmmm ... this post was going to be about feeling too comfortable ... oh well, maybe tomorrow.
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