Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Why is there chocolate in the house. Since there is ... why does it matter? It didn't when I had so much confidence in myself that I dared anyone to say that I couldn't do it. I made it through vacations and family celebrations and still lost. What's the difference now. EXCUSES, that's the only reason I can find. I didn't have any then. I wouldn't let them exist. We're in the deep of winter but what difference does that make. I'm hurting so bad both physically and emotionally but if I had the right attitude that shouldn't matter either. I need to find something else to focus on. I need to find something that I can enjoy and forget about the pain.

This morning I put on a pant suit to wear to work and made myself think about the difference in fit from this time last year. I have room to breathe. I can button the jacket. Do I want to go back to everything being so tight that I didn't know how much longer I could wear it and breath.

I'm giving it another try today. So far, so good but it's not even 9:00 a.m., but I did have a sensible breakfast.

I'm so tired and all the excuses that go with it.


NAN said...

Sorry to hear you're struggling but if you can just maintain, that will work for awhile! Can you go through the house and purge food that might call your name? I just can't keep PB in the house- the other day I was so close to buying some almond butter but I knew I'd just snack on it with a spoon!!! I have been buying fruit in 4's to force myself to have one a day for 4 days! I wish I liked it better. We'll get where we want to one of these days. BTW is your pain any better?

Kim Summers said...

I ate a lot of chocolate today...sigh...tomorrow is another day.

Bernice said...

Hello Sheilah,

So sorry I haven't been there for you lately. I kind of go into hibernation during my time off in the winter. You are strong You can do it!!!! Pull from wherever and whatever you got it from before it is still within you! You just have to find it again. I have great faith in you!