Getting to "there"

Remember the typical "are we there yet" that little kids chime in when traveling. I need to get there. Find that commitment that lasts longer than a few hours. Our TOPS meeting was cancelled again last night ... that's two weeks in a row. That's not good for me. I need that accountability. I just keep procrastinating about the seriousness of all of this. As the pounds I've lost return I should realize it's going to get a lot harder before it gets any easier. I've got to stop NOW and gain some control.

I don't know why I can't step on the scales at home to see where I am and just go on from there. Until I do, I need to realize that I'm going to continue to slide on that dangerous slippery slope. I've got to turn things around and I've got to do it NOW.

Maybe I got too comfortable in the weight I had lost and for some reason thought I could just go back to my mindless eating and still keep my weight at a steady mark. I know that's only wishful thinking. Even if I was satisfied with the weight at a 30 pound loss, it's not going to be maintained by a little extra this and an extra helping of that.

Back to the basics and it's not going to happen tomorrow, or next Monday or the 1st of March. If it's going to happen, it's got to happen right now. Oh, how many times have I said that. How bad do I want this. It sure hasn't been at the top of my priority list for the last couple of months. I keep asking why? What will get it going again. Well starting and getting through one day may snowball into more confidence, so that what I'm going to do. Make today a good one and look forward to another good one tomorrow.

I keep blaming the absence of exercise on my lack of focus but again when you fail, you tend to make excuses instead of sucking it up, admit your shortcomings and move on. When I started out so many other times, I found that controlling my eating and exercise didn't go hand in hand right away. I got one under control and was proud of that and at a point I knew I was ready to add the exercise. I've got to change my way of thinking. I'm capable of doing what needs to be done and adjust the sails and get my ship sailing in the right direction.