Wednesday, February 6, 2013


. . . and yesterday's gone.  A song from my era by Chad and Jeremy.  A golden oldie.  I guess that's how I've been feeling .... OLD.  Yes, I am a Senior ... but age has nothing to do with the way I should feel.  I'm in good health and able to move around like I always have.  The body is willing but . . . how does that saying go?

I know my problems right now are all in my head and are slowing down my weight loss.  I was being sarcastic yesterday about the positive, trying to jar myself back into all the good things I could be doing.  I haven't reached rock bottom and I'm telling myself this morning that I'm not going there.  I'm not going any lower.  I'm not giving back those 20 pounds I've lost.  I'm digging myself out of this rut here and now.  I could wait it out until spring giving myself excuses to go out for a fast food lunch to lift my spirits or head to the vending machine in the middle of the afternoon because I'm bored or have an extra glass of wine because that sounds .... mmmmm, what does that sound like.

This morning on my drive to work I was thinking about restrictions and how they can be so ... well restrictive.  What I'm trying to say is I just feel held back.  The lack of sun this time of year ... the lull in my workload ... things that go wrong that I don't have any control over.  It's funny how the force of a few things can pull you in like a tornado and take you places you don't really want to go.

I'm acting like nothing matters but that couldn't be farther from the truth.  I'll find that eating relecklessly will matter when I weigh-in on Monday.  Not doing the laundry will matter when I go to pack for a weekend trip, sitting and worrying about my state of mind will matter when I forgot something important because I wasn't putting my focus in the right direction.

I've had my pity party.  It's time to find alternatives instead of thinking I'm restricted to one thing, one way, one thought.

Today is a new day ... yesterday's gone and with it all the baggage, negatives, restrictions, and imperfections. I'm capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for.  It's time to put one foot in front of the other and see how far I can go.

1 comment:

NAN said...

Oh no so you didn't have a weight loss at tops Monday? My Dd lost 6 pounds last week but she hadn't really buckled down since before Christmas. She actually is more concerned with health than the number; especially since her father died of a heart attack when he was just 47. She's 40. I just hope all my kids have my genes for health even if I am overweight! Weight is such a struggle!