Monday, August 29, 2011


I had hoped to post through the weekend and I probably should have looking back. Friday I had lunch with a good friend that I hadn't seen in awhile. She is going through some difficult times and it made me realize how good I have it. We ate at a deli where they have the best mac 'n cheese. I tried to work it in my plan as I had been doing well this week ... or though I thought. Shapiro's also has wonderful pies and desserts but I passed them by with no problem.

Friday we had Jacob and Gracie spend the night. Since we hadn't been to their favorite in a while ... we headed to Cracker Barrel for dinner. I had originally thought I would just get a salad but opted for the grilled chicken at the last minute. I thought it would be a more nutritious meal with more vitamins in the baked potato, apples and green beans. I did have a problem with the biscuits. I had two instead of the planned one. Bread seems to be my big issue. I was very tempted to dive into Gracie's mac n cheese and Jacob's dumplings when they were finished with food still on their plate but I seem to be stronger at that point. We went home and the kids had ice cream but I just passed on that with no problem.

Saturday was a pretty boring day with no plans. I got my haircut thinking a change would do me good. I couldn't get in the mood to do anything and looking around me there was so much to do but I just felt stuck. I had a coupon for a BOGO at Ruby Tuesday's so we did a little shopping (which I wasn't in the mood for) later in the afternoon and went to dinner. There was a free concert in the park, so we checked it out to see what kind of music was on tap. It was a soft rock band and they were pretty good. I tried to tell myself that there ARE things to do close to home if I just look.

I wanted to run outside on Sunday morning as I didn't run on Saturday and to stay with my training schedule I needed to stick to it on Sunday. I woke up at 5 but that was way too early and again at 7:00 but thought I'd just lay there for a little while. Finally as the clock was approaching 9:00 I got up and got my running stuff on. I mapped out a route to do a 5k. I hydrated well before I left, so I thought I was well prepared. I had my IPOD and my phone to check my time. I thought this would be a good test for our run at Disney. I started out and my confidence dropped. I had been able to sustain a 12 minute run the last time at the gym. On the road, it was only ONE minute. What makes me give up so easy. Because I can ... because no one is there running next to me ... no one is there telling me I can do it. Why can't I be my own cheerleader. I didn't stop, turn around and come home though. I ran a little and walked more. At least I was going to finish the route and could see what my time would be with both walking and running. As I made one turn down a street, I approached a cross street but there was no street sign and I wasn't sure which way to turn. I choose the wrong way and was thrown off my course. I kept going thinking it would end up being about the same distance and that'd be okay. I made note of where I was at the 45 minute mark and finished at 49 minutes which I thought was pretty good. When I got in the house, Gary mapped out my actual route and it was only 2 1/2 miles. I felt pretty defeated. 1st that I didn't run as much as I felt I should have and secondly that I didn't go as far. I guess I should look at it that I didn't fail, I just set a point to improve. But my negative side has taken over. My mood is on the down side and spending the afternoon alone didn't help any.

I'm not giving up .... I never give up, I just stall out for awhile. It didn't help any getting on the scales this morning either.

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