How Many Times Do I Have To . . .

Yesterday was a special day for a special little girl. It was my granddaughter, Katherine's fourth birthday. We celebrated on Saturday with her party, but Sunday was a day especially for Katherine. She had her favorite picks for all the meals today which weren't exactly diet friendly, but this was her day. I felt I succeeded, although there were some major temptations, as well as a handful of eligible excuses.

When I went downstairs I discovered Dunkin' Donuts. I'm a donut lover and like Katherine the chocolate frosted ones are my favorite, but when she asked me what kind I wanted I told her I was going to pass, so that I could have some other food later in the day. Kim did fix some eggs but again I was savin' up. I know that it's not a good thing to go without breakfast, but it wouldn't be long until lunch so I thought this one time would be okay.

We had lunch at CiCi's Pizza and I started with salad so I would have a feeling of fullness when I went back for pizza. I'm not that big of a fan for their pizza but for some reason it looked pretty good. I knew I wanted a slice of their BBQ pizza and also grabbed a piece of some kind that had ham and some other stuff on it. Both were the best CiCi's Pizza I have ever eaten. Two pieces were going to be my limit ... but. Out of nowhere the excuses started popping in my head. Hey, you're on vacation ... you've been pretty good, what's one off day going to do ... you're not weighing in on Monday, you'll have a whole other week. Those slices were on the small side. Nope, I'm going to do this, I've come this far and by golly this time I'm gonna finish what I started. I walked out of Katherine's lunch pick with my plan intact.

When we got back to the house, I caught up on some reading and the family played another round of games. On the counter by the table where we sit around for games, conversation, snacks, etc., has been a couple of bowls with candy ... M&M's and Junior Mints. I bet I've walked passed those candies 50 times this weekend. Did I notice them every time? Yep, pretty much. Did I have one ... no, not a one. Did I ever feel my hand reaching for them? Yep, a couple of times. How many times do I have to ask myself, do you really want that? Maybe until I don't notice it or don't feel myself reaching. I was holding out for another meal with my family. Our last one together this trip and I was holding on to those feelings ... happy feelings.

Party Time

I didn't sleep well the first night we got to Erick's. Didn't know if it was because of the high winds or just being in a different bed, just know that I kept waking up and having to turn over. That didn't stop me from sleeping in though. No alarm, so I didn't have to deal with the snooze resolution. Before I got in the shower, I saw the scale on the floor. I don't know what came over me, because I usually try to avoid a scale, especially when we're traveling. I saw a number that I haven't seen in a long time and I was happy. Granted it was a different scale, so I know not to get too excited, but I've been trying and am hoping for the best.

Katherine's birthday party was this afternoon. She's so excited. Kelly finished up decorating the cake and it came out great. We had lunch before the party. Erick made a run to Wendy's. I pulled up their menu online and decided to go with the Apple Pecan Chicken Salad. It would have been wonderful except for the blu cheese crumbles, but still it was pretty good. I think the salads are made up ahead of time, so I don't know if I could have ordered one without the blu cheese or not. I made another stride and that was not to pop a couple of half eaten chicken nuggets in my mouth as I was clearing the table. It's that mindless eating that you're not even aware of that can get something going after you've done it.

At the party I probably should have stayed away from the summer sausage and crackers but did back away before diaster hit and I did have my one piece of cake, but that was planned. Dinner was at Red Hot and Blues and I just had a BBQ sandwich and cole slaw ... no fries. It still not getting any easier but I'm doing better.

We're Here

Changes can come about by observation. I realized something that had been a habit with me. At lunch yesterday I did something I haven't done in a long time, if ever, and that was to eat a sandwich by itself when eating out. It always had to be accompanied by fries, chips, soup or something. It doesn't sound like such a big deal but it can be when you watching and limiting your intake. Everyone's heard of time management but there's also food management. While I was eating my tuna salad sandwich, it felt like some was missing, even though my sandwich was satisfying just because I wasn't used to it because basically it had become a habit.

We had about four more hours to drive and I made use of it by reading blogs on my Kindle and going through some magazines pulling out recipes, nutrition and weight related articles. I had subscribed to some magazines when the grandkids were selling them for a school fundraiser and I never had the time to read them. This was a good time to catch up.

We made it to Maryland just before dinner. It was good to see everyone as it had been since the first week in January that we were together. We had an early dinner at Woodside Deli and enjoy their terrific potato soup. We came back to the house and while Aunt Kelly worked on Katherine's birthday cake, the rest of us played a couple of games. It was so much fun and we laughed and had a good time especially in Sour Apples to Apples when the key word was sweaty and the winning card was "where the sun don't shine". Between games Kelly put some cupcakes on the table to snack on. They looked great but I'm saving my resolution of having one dessert a week until tomorrow during Katherine's Smurf's Birthday party.

Kissing it Goodbye?

Day Two of my Lenten resolution was soooo much harder. The alarm startled me when it went off and I didn't want to get up. I did turn it off and turned on my bedside lamp and laid there for awhile. On Wednesday I did my leg lifts and sit ups in a different bedroom but I felt if I didn't do them in my own bed, I wouldn't do them. They got abbreviated the way it was but I was soon in the shower waking up.

I made sure that I had my workout clothes with me as I had planned on using the company gym on my lunch hour. There had been some indecision on whether I was going to have my normal work week of getting off at noon on Friday or whether we'd be leaving for Maryland after work yesterday. It was a 90% go that my boss was flying out this morning instead of Saturday and it was decided I could take Friday off and we'd be leaving straight from work last night. I got on the internet looking for a hotel and found one in Zanesville. It had a workout room, so I decided to ditch my idea of exercise at noon. I told myself I'd hit the hotel workout room when we got there. Wanna take any bets. I hope it wouldn't be too late when we got there and I'd be grabbing at some idiotic excuse. When I knew I had a free lunch hour, I decided ... it's Thursday, my normal day to eat out, so why not? So, I bailed on the lower calorie grilled cheese sandwich I had planned on fixing for lunch. I ended up walking to the chili parlor and I tried to savor each bite. I had no idea where we were going to stop for dinner, but I knew I had better watch it.

I found a coupon for Ruby Tuesday's in my inbox for 25% off, so I asked Gary if he could wait until we got to Dayton for dinner. I ended up with BBQ Chicken and a baked potatoe along with their salad bar. Oh, there were so many regular things that I wanted to add to my salad, like egg, ham, cheese but I knew those would add calories. Calories that I had already used at lunch, so I remained viligant. When we got to the hotel it was 9:45 and Gary asked ... are you still wanting to work out. Well, did you bet on me? There could be excuses of it's too late, I'm tired, I'm tensed up from all the driving in the rain but we found out the workout room was open until midnight so that's where we ended up after changing clothes. Yes, WE ... Gary went with me although after 30 minutes he went back to the room before I finished my routine.

Good day and ... I'm so anxious to see everyone.

Lenten Season

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent. Since my daughter's post at I'm My Favorite last week about Lent, I have been thinking about what sacrifice I should endure. I kind of steered away from "giving up" something. I was thinking it should be something I WOULD do, something positive, like random acts of kindness. But, Lent is about sacrifice, so I decided it would be to get up when the alarm went off and not hit the snooze button time after time after time . . . that WOULD be a sacrifice for me. Subconsciously I must have been thinking about the alarm because I woke up just before 5:00 and thought that I forgot to set the alarm because surely it was time to get up. I checked the setting and it was still set. I guess I had my own built-in snooze. I went back to sleep and awoke again about 6:00. My alarm goes off at 6:15, so I just laid there for fifteen minutes. I popped up and did 25 sit ups and 10 leg lifts. I thought with the extra time, I should do something productive. I was showered, dressed and headed downstairs before the time I normally get up. Gary asked what I was going to do with my extra time and I told him, well I guess I won't be snapping at you this morning like I did the day before. I felt great and ready to face the world instead of being in panic mode trying to get out the door.

Being Catholic, Ash Wednesday is also a meatless day which made my choices lighter at lunch. I had a small salad and tomato soup from Paradise Cafe. The brisk walk with a nip in the air on my lunchhour burned a few calories.

I had been in a pretty good mood all day. No problems, everything running pretty smooth .... UNTIL ... I was changing cartridges in my computer and ended up with blue ink all over both hands. I tried to clean it off with both acetone and bleach with no luck. I guess I'll have to go home and wash dishes for a couple of hours and then who knows. Oh well, my granddaughter, Katherine's, birthday party is Saturday. She's having a Smurf's party. I guess I can tell her I was trying to become a smurf, if I still have blue hands when we get there..

The evening was so, so. I decided to work out on my lunch hour tomorrow instead of going to the gym tonight. I still needed to get packed and I wanted to send out questions to classmates for our blog.

MIND SHORTS FROM YESTERDAY

I am extremely worn out this morning. I couldn't believe it when the alarm went off. I hit the snooze at least three times. I don't care if I'm late for work or not .... YES I DO. I need to get up to wrap the baby gift for Heather and take it in to Joyce ... oh, five more minutes.

On the drive into work, I'm starting to wake up and I don't feel like there's a big heavy cloak over me. While approaching a stoplight, the light bulb goes off in my head that I forgot to bring the baby gift with me. Geez, what else did I forget. Lunch ... no I have a frozen dinner still in the breakroom's freezer. I"m not turning back or I WILL be late.

10:30 and starting to think about lunch. I really don't want that frozen dinner ... what sounds good? If I'm going to go out, it should be something like Subway .... but chili or anything else sounds so much better. I can always start eating better tomorrow. How long will it take me to get to goal, if I keep putting it off?

It's lunch time and I need some positive reinforcement. I'll eat my frozen dinner and try to find some interesting blogs. Maybe someone that's a mirror of myself that I can follow. Wondering if I should try to get followers that would read this and encourage me. No, the way things are now ... I'm fine. Stephanie and Kim will comment if I'm losing it ... my mind not weight ... or maybe weight to!

I think I'm done with these frozen dinners. They taste like crap (or carp as Jim would say), especially the chicken ... I think it's made with leftover parts. But, they're so convenient. Well, I just won't get anything with chicken in it. I didn't finish the meal, so that just means I can have a glass of wine with dinner. Mmmm, wonder what Gary's making for dinner?

Tonight is gym night ... but this week's schedule is messed up because we're living for Maryland right after work on Thursday which is suppose to be another gym night. Maybe the hotel we're staying will have a gym. But we probably won't stop until around 10:00? I could go on Tuesday and Wednesday. But I'm not used to two days in a row. So what?

Heard from Gary in the afternoon. He's sick. Said he'd try to go to the gym with me. I had told him last Saturday how tough it was to go by myself. He doesn't feel like cooking, so it's either I cook or we eat out ... we're going to Eggroll, so there goes my glass of wine.

Well, I made it to the gym. Gary said he'd go and just do a little bit on the treadmill ... real slow. I tried to get into my routine. I brought my Kindle to read while I was on the bike to make the time go faster ... too bad I didn't realize I only had two pages left in my book. I wanted to quit but I did 4 1/2 miles. Then to the treadmill ... why is this so hard, why do I want to give up so easy. I kept fidgeting with my Shuffle trying to find music that was more upbeat. That didn't seem to help. I'll just do 1 mile ... but I wanted to improve my last session. Yeah, look at Gary over there sitting down while my legs are aching. Okay, okay I only have to go a couple more minutes to make it. What the heck, go up to 20 minutes and be done with it. When I got off, I did feel like I accomplished something but then thought ... I do all this for 1/2 pound. No, I do this so I can have a couple of beers or a Big Mac and still lose. I'm not dieting, I'm changing. I making choices and that means I can have those extras, just so I don't have extras with those extra like fries or an extra dinner.

Today was a good day after all.

Movin' On

Last night I lost 1/2#. In the past, fractions of a pound weren't worth any hoopla or excitement, it was always "why didn't I lose more". In fact sometimes when multiple pounds were lost, it was the same quote. I didn't gain. I'm moving forward. It all adds up. That's what I'm dishing out this morning. I'm not on any particular diet, I'm just making changes. Maybe some work and some don't. I know that some weeks I'm going to see more progress than other weeks. I'm still determined and I'll continue down the road that I started on a couple of weeks ago. I love to travel and I don't mind long stretches.

I made another commitment at my TOPS meeting last night. We have election of officers in a couple of weeks. The term runs from April through the end of March. I announced that I would like to be the new leader. I haven't held that office in quite some time. I'm thinking that it will give me more accountability and I will learn along the way in the programs that I prepare.