It'll Be a Cold Day . . .

I guess winter is here. I'll be covered up a little more with a coat and sweaters. The layered look will be in. That will not be any reason to hide those extra pounds because of the season. It'll just give me reason to keep on doing what I need to do to emerge like a butterfly once spring arrives. A new transformation both inside and outside.

Enjoying my time with the kids and grandkids and also able to sleep in and relax a little. This is the traveling I like. I did have a lot a food placed in front of me yesterday. We had lunch at a new restaurant for us here. It was a place that has brick oven pizzas, but I choose to have sandwich. I asked about splitting a sandwich but was told they weren't that big. 1/2 sandwich would have been plenty. Gary and I ended up getting different sandwiches and taking each other's leftover half. Have you ever noticed when a sandwich is cut in half there is usually one side that is smaller. So, I had two smaller halves. We also celebrated my son, Erick's, birthday at his M-I-L's. A chicken parm and pasta meal. I cut the smallest chicken breast in half (maybe half-sees is my new approach) and a small portion of pasta and loaded HALF the plate with salad. It was enough and I just ate slowly. Then out came the dessert. Truffles, cookies and TWO frozen delecacies from Stone Cold Creamery. I was fine with diving into the conversation and listening intently ... I didn't miss the sugar rush that the grandkids seem to have on the way home. All in all, it was a good day.

I mentioned I had a lot of food placed in front of me ... I usually don't like to post pictures of food because I'm afraid it will be tempting to other but this is what my granddaughter Katherine fixed for me.

The Storm

After I wrote my post from the car yesterday, we started to see snow on the ground as we approached West Virginia. Once we got up in the mountains it was starting to get hairy. It was down to one lane on the interstate and the visability was well ... challenging. Once we got to a lower elevation there wasn't even any evidence of snow. We arrived safely and it was great to see the kids. Kim has lost three pant sizes and Erick continues to be very disciplined about his marathon training. He's sure to do well next month.

I still feel like I'm a newbie with the diet regimine. I'm still fighting the good fight but I lost some of my resolve by slipping or should I say "just getting by" for a couple of weeks. I found it difficult to forego bread yesterday ... the same as in the beginning. I did eventually get a handle on it before but it took several weeks into the program and I'm hoping after one or two failed attempts I'll finally GET it and be able to pass it by without a second thought unless I have planned for it. No, I take that back ... that's a copout. I'm done with the excuses. Bread will not be a stronghold over me. I'm in charge. Just like sweets do not bother me. Again, I'm in charge of when and where andy WHY I will consume such things.

Okay, I feel pretty strong and confident right now. I am in charge, I will make good choices. If I decide to eat something that is higher in calories, I will make modifications and control my portions. I will not use ANYthing as an excuse not to get to where I am going. I've will come through the storm unscathed.

Motoring On

It's not quite the Jet Setting lifestyle but it sure seems like it. As I write this we are headed east on I-70 toward Maryland. The fourth time we have been on the road in a little over a month. That can cause havoc on a diet but I'm hanging in there and I feel Thanksgiving at home was the real challenge.

Yesterday went well with no sidestepping on my plan. It was a quick day at the office and plenty to do with laundry and packing when I got home ... just no time for exercise and I'm missing it.

I thought yesterday about the Jet Setting life and how sophisticated those people are. Since I seem to be a Jet Set Wannabe now I should take some cues. I don't think those type of people hang out at McD's drive thru or choose chips over cavier. Of course fish eggs don't sound all that appealing so I would have to pass and have nothing. Yes HAVE NOTHING. Pass ... no thanks ... maybe later .. can do without attitude.

Victorious and Exhausted

Yesterday being the first day back entirely on plan, I felt I did quite well. Maybe I should say back on plan with eating as I did not exercise. It does seem like I'm starting completely over because in the very beginning I did not exercise right away. That does not mean I am not moving and just vegging out in front of the TV. I feel I am keeping quite active but noticed I'm very tired. I also noticed that trend when I first started slashing at the calories and eliminating junk ... maybe it's just a good sign that my body is making some adjustments and I will begin to see some results.

I had no problem with cravings or desires until evening and of course it was all in my mind ... AGAIN. We went to Applebee's for dinner and I got their Asian Crunch Salad listed in their "UNDER 550 CALORIE" menu. I had had an Asian Salad there before but this was new and for my taste quite disappointing. It just wasn't very flavorful. My mind was working in the same way when it wants what it wants ... it wasn't satisfied so it wanted something else. Gary offered me some of his steak but ... no, I had to work on the discipline. POPCORN ... POPCORN. Having some 94% fat free popcorn when I got home wouldn't throw me off plan, would it? Ooops, there's still some candy left over from Halloween (that stuff should have been thrown out weeks ago) ... no I've got to get through the first day with some discipline. Weighing ... yes weighing. I've got to weigh which is the most important satisfaction ... satisfying a food desire or satisfying the desire to lose those extra pounds and the snowball effect of losing.

When we got home I had to get the rest of the Christmas decorations out of the storage tubs to finish decorating before we leave for Maryland tomorrow. After I did that I don't know whether it was being too tired or too lazy, I didn't make it into the kitchen. I just fell asleep on the couch and finally made it upstairs to bed without any snacking.

Back to the Basics

You know better, you prepare, you have all this support out there and then you kick yourself for not following through. The scales are up this morning and it's really no surprise. On the heels of vacation came Thanksgiving with a couple of celebrations and the few days prior to that I was fighting some sort of malady I returned from vacation with and my guard was down ... no exercise, no control over eating, no discipline, so obviously no loss.

It's all behind me now and I was glad to get on the scales this morning to have a new beginning. Not that it is going to get any easier. We're leaving for Maryland on Wednesday to visit the kids but I will be under control and drink lots of water on the trip. Something else that I've been slacking on.

While I am starting over, I still am happy with my success. I have to use that as a stepping stone to convince myself while it's a long hard road, there is much to benefit from. I'm starting to see a small change and don't want to give that up. It gives me desire to want more and I don't want to lose that confidence to believe in myself.

Just Here

Back from our trip and the scale didn't go crazy so I'm okay with that. I think I maintained but can never be sure with the home scale. Not feeling all that great physically and the mental part has shifted as well. I'm not overeating but it just seems harder and more of a fight.

When I talked to my son on my birthday he mentioned that they are going back to DisneyWorld in October when they have their Half Marathon. Erick, Kim and our oldest grandson, Brandon are planning on running in it. I told him maybe I should consider it, as well. Could I really run ... I think I could walk but don't know about running? If it could become a reality ... I guess I better start training, huh?

Happy New Year

I want to thank everyone for my birthday wishes. I gave given myself a very valuable gift today with the weight that I have left behind. There is less of me but in the same token so much more. More seft worth, self confidence, self esteem. I am FULL of life. I am truly blessed with good health and a loving family and I hope to have a better attitude from this point going forward. There are so many things to be thankful for and I plan to open my eyes to them every day.

I do feel that I've come quite a distance. I was somewhat frustrated yesterday. I was very conscious of my behavior yesterday and kept fighting all the excuses that could be used to overeat. By our evening meal, I was tried of fighting and decided to let myself go. As I stood in front of the dessert table at the buffet, that little voice in my head .... remember that little voice that seems to torment us sometime .... surely you too have listened to it many times???? Well, that little voice was saying. Look around, is there anything that great or that you can't live without. Is there anything that is there TODAY that is worth the questions you are going to ask yourself tonight when you lie you head on the pillow. I stood there like I was frozen in time and finally answered myself ... no, not TODAY and walked back to our table.

This morning I slept in or at least it felt like it. There's an hour difference in time where we are. I didn't make it to the gym yesterday as we were just getting settled and our schedule was somewhat irractic. We did do a surmountable amount of walking though. However, this morning I being determined to give myself the best year of my life going forward, I hit the gym. 45 minutes on the bike and 10 minutes on the treadmill. That's the first time for today ... I'm not giving up hope that I will go back because the gym is open until 11:00 p.m.

I don't know how often I'll be able to blog on this trip as there is not wifi in the room. I have to go to the lobby and it just depends on our schedule. Did you know that the percentages for success go up tremendously if you give yourself credit for how far you've come. There's something to say for confidence. Hold up your head and move forward.