Reflecting

While reading the replies when I posted the "SCRAP" award I received from Ann over at Ann is Living Large No More, Darla's comment made me stop and think. One of the facts I stated was that I was very shy but yet there I was in my profile picture obviously speaking in front of a group since I was behind a podium.

Well it took me 30 years to get there and it was mostly in front of my peers, so I was less nervous and maybe did not show my timidness as much. It was also at our annual Christmas luncheon (that I coordinate) and I knew everyone was there to have fun. I love throwing parties but would rather remain in the background. When I first started at the company back in 1978 and had to get in front of the staff (which was much smaller then) I fumbled not only with my words but even knocked over one of the charts as I was trying to explain the trends. The next year went a little better as did the third year. The year after that I wasn't asked to speak but just to prepare a handout. I think it was all just a challenge for me by my supervisor and I thank her for the opportunity.

So many time we're afraid of what we're capable of doing, so we either don't do it or we don't give it our all. I have a very good friend that is a football coach and while together one night, he was talking about one of his players and I said "mmm, sounds like he has some potential". Coach Bill says I hate that word. I can't remember if he went on to explain or maybe I didn't ask but maybe it's because potential means that we could be doing so much better but we're satisfied just to get by.

I could go on, but I think you get my drift and I don't have a lot of time to expand. All I can say is ... if you afraid just go out and do it and see what the outcome is. I bet it's better than what caused the fear that would have stopped you.

Frustrated

Yesterday was pretty much like any other weekday or was it? I had an early morning appointment with the eye doctor. Pretty much everything was okay with the exception of the stigmatism so they are going to switch to a different kind of contact. I'll be glad to get out of the daileys. I struggled with my year prescription of them being hard to get in and then rolling in my eyes.

Then it was off to work. I brought my workout clothes because it was suppose to be my second day of c25k training. My daughter, Stephanie, is in Arizona, on business and her husband, Jim, had a evening meeting and asked if we could watch the kids. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to the gym in the evening so I was going to use the treadmill in my office gym on my lunchhour. I was determined, nothing was going to get in my way ... NO EXCUSES!

I was pumped and ready to do this. I turned on my IPOD and "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" was playing. Let's Hit It! My last session I found out I should have been switching up my speed when I jogged, so with correction in my program I started the warm-up walk at 3.7 and bumped it up to 4.5 when it was time to jog. I got thru the minute but just barely. The next round of jogging I edged down to 4 and struggled. I couldn't find the right combination. I pushed myself, I really did and twice I thought I can't do this but pushed through but I eventually caved and didn't finish the 20 minute alternation. I was really frustrated. I felt defeated. I immediately put something on facebook about it and heard from both my son and daughter. Erick is running his first marathon at Disney World this weekend and I know he'll rock it and Stephanie is also starting the C25k so the two people that I look at for advice gave me some but most importantly showed that they want me to succeed. This program is several weeks long but I have until October until the race that I'm wanting to run. So, even if the training takes twice as long or three, four or five times as long I'm going to continue to continue. I'll keep playing with the speed combinations.

I completed the day with my struggle in the back of my mind wanting a handful of nuts or a fudgie to ease the disappointment but I fought that too. I'm finding how strong I can become.

Being Scrappy

Ann over at Ann Livin Large No More presented me with this award on December 12. Things got really hectic around the holidays and I just kept putting off doing anything about it. It asks that you list 10 honest things about yourself and to pass it along. She waived the passing along but maybe I'll do that too.



1. I'm a coal miner's daughter



2. I was a surprise to my mom and dad. My four siblings were 18 months apart and 23 year later I was born. My mom was almost fifty and dad was 56.


3. I am very shy and insecure


4. I don't act my age


5. I tend to over analyze and hold on to things too long


6. I love new adventures especially when it comes to traveling


7. I have patience except when it comes to being patient with myself

8. I have a tendancy to start out "on fire" but whimp out in the end


9. While I have many people I call friends, I don't really have any close friends besides my family


10. I'm more positive now than I ever have been about reaching my goal this time.

Here's the people I passing the "Scrap" onto
http://justquiteating.blogspot.com Debbie at Weigh Down
http://whitneygettinghealthy.blogspot.com Whitney at Getting Health
http://justoneinch.blogspot.com/ Sorry I don't know your name
http://graciestoughjourney.blogspot.com Gracie at Gracie's Tough Journey

YEAH

Not much time to write this morning. Yesterday was a good day but I'm very tired this morning. Adjusting to the new sleep pattern and getting up earlier. So many adjustments in life. Have adjusted my eating back to normalcy the last few days too.

I was very happy at the scale last night. A four pound loss. That gives me momentum to continue. Only 1 1/2# more to get down to my lowest weight on this journey. My will is a little stronger and it seems to be a little easier to pass by all those extra calories.

Challenge

Yesterday went according to plan. I slept in again, knowing that today I'd be headed back to work and getting up early. Then to church. On the way home, Gary asked what I wanted to do ... meaning go out to lunch or have it at home. I immediately said, "I want to go to the gym". We went home changed clothes and I was anxious to start my Couch to 5k Training. This morning I ask myself why? Not really, I have a little more confidence that I will be able to participate in October at DisneyWorld with my family. In fact, I know it. If I can't run it as planned, I will definiately walk it.

I did a 10 minute warm up on the bike and then got on the treadmill with my instructions. Five minute warm-up and then start alternating jogging for 60 seconds and walking for 90 seconds and do this for 20 minutes. Easier said than done. What speed do I start. I set it for 3.7 and half way through doubted myself if I was doing this right. Should I be walking and jogging at the same speed. I was definiately jogging taking smaller strides, but it didn't seem right. I got through it and was glad I didn't have to do this everyday. The program says three times on week one, so I'll be back Tuesday or Wednesday. I later found out ... yes, I was suppose to up the speed on the jogging part. I started questioning if I need to start over and wait until next week. No way, I'm counting it ... it was only the first day.

My eating was in check, as well. Gary fixed a new recipe last night. Chicken Marsala and it was great but my portion was small and I was satisfied with that. It really helps that he is doing the cooking and does these new dishes. It varies our normal meals and variety is the spice of life.

Slow Start

Didn't see the light of day yesterday. Neither Gary or I left the house. It was a nice, relaxing, lazy day. We're kind of edging into the new year at a slow pace and there's nothing wrong with that. The hustle will start tomorrow going back to work after being off work since the Wednesday before Christmas.

I was surprised to hear from some of you yesterday since it had been a while since I posted anything. It's good to know that I have people pulling for me. That's a huge benefit.

While yesterday wasn't anything to write home about, it was still a good day. I got on the scale to see where I was after all the holiday parties and goodies around the house that had tempted me. I was surprised it was about the same as the last time I weighed in so I haven't dug myself too much of a hole to climb out. The next thing I did was measure out my cereal for breakfast instead of eyeing the portion. What I usually pour probably doesn't vary that much but I wanted to get back in that habit. The portion size and the information on the box gave me the exact amount of calories consummed.

Gary fixed tuna salad for lunch and when I went into the kitchen to fix myself a sandwich, I noticed how creamy it was and knew there was more mayo than I would have used, so I decided to warm up some left over in chili instead. It probably would work out to the same amount of calories (ya think) but I was making a conscious effort and decision and maybe that's more important. Dinner was the same problem. Gary fixed vegetables soup and I have no idea how many calories, so I had one bowl thinking that with all the veggies and one serving I'd be okay.

I really wanted to get back on track and start journaling and tracking points but yesterday I found myself just estimating and keeping portions to one serving. I'll keep my plan in front of me and most of all keep balance in my life.

Why Does It Matter

I am so happy the New Year has arrived. So, what's so great or different about today than what was given to me yesterday. A new start, new hope, a new direction. Each and every day is a new start. Every minute that passes can point you on the right path. They were plenty of times to call "do over" as I look back at the past six weeks. Can I get any of that time back and make a different decision ... NO, but I can make some changes going forward and I have and I will. My daughter Stephanie had a very good post on her blog today and it has put some fire in me instead of excuses that's been overflowing in my mind the last few weeks.

I think the only time to look back is looking at the tough times you've made it through, the things that made you proud, the milestones that you've gathered up. I look back at my progress and success in September and know that January can be just as successful.

I was hoping our gym was open today but it is closed because of the holiday. But there's something just about never taking "no" for an answer. There are other means of exercise. I should have taken a walk at midnight last night to welcome the New Year when it was 60 degrees here in Indiana, insteasd of in the 30's like it is now, but I have many choices. I can bundle up and go out anyway. I can pull out an exercise video. I'm can run up and down the stairs a dozen times. I'm sure the alternatives are endless. What would you do?